In so many ways, this episode of Teen Wolf was about certain pieces of the puzzle coming together. But in so many more ways, it presented us with even more questions than I ever thought possible. We finally saw one of Lydia’s visions from the season opener come true—Stiles in his overturned Jeep—and the good news is that he’s not dead. But that’s just about literally all I know. Well that, and the fact that this episode was by far the goriest thing this show’s ever done. Generally, I love when this show goes dark, but if I never have to watch a makeout scene like that one between Lydia and Parrish again, I’ll be a happy camper.
We pick up right where we left off last week: On the roof of the hospital just moments after Theo has killed the latest chimera and threatened Stiles with his knowledge of Donavan’s murder. Long story short, Theo was at the library the night that Stiles killed Donovan, but didn’t tell Scott; so now, Stiles owes him. So what’s their big plan? Take the dead chimera (and his awful overbite) to the animal clinic and tell Scott that one of the Doctors killed him.
Apparently, the chimera’s name was Josh—Scott knew him—and now they’re going to use him as a bait of sorts. If someone is stealing the bodies, they’ll have to come get Josh at some point, right? With that in mind, Theo agrees to stay behind with Josh’s body and wait for the culprit to show.
But Josh really isn’t the most important chimera at this point in time. Right now, Liam is more focused on getting Hayden up to speed on the supernatural side of Beacon Hills. However, Liam is new to breaking the whole “werewolves exist” news to someone, and like most teenage boys, he didn’t get the memo on subtlety. So instead of, I don’t know, flashing Hayden a claw or glowing his eyes, he full on wolves out and growls at her.
Her response? Punching him in the face and taking off in her car. Yeah, I like her.
But she doesn’t get far down the road before the Doctors shut her car down. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one impressed by her left jab. After the Dread Doctors use the radio frequency to inform her that her condition improves—the ultimate compliment, really—they appear on the road in front of her. Thankfully, before they can get to her, Liam shows up and saves the day.
From there, Hayden heads straight for the place she knows no teenage boy will bother her: The bathroom. Sadly for her, Scott, Stiles, and Liam are very persistent (and don’t have any real sense of boundaries). By the time they get her to open the door, she’s fully wolfed out. But hey, at least she believes in werewolves now!
So while Scott and company come up with a plan on how to deal with everything, Kira enjoys a peaceful Saturday morning helping her dad unload some boxes in his classroom. Except that her trip to the school is actually about much more than that.
Appearing as if from nowhere, Kira’s mother shows up and challenges Kira to a sword fight because #parenting. In the middle of the battle, Kira’s mother tells the kitsune to show itself, at which point Kira foxes out, breaks her mother’s sword in half, and nearly kills her mother. The only thing that stops her is the tail her father slams down on the desk.
But it’s not Kira that nearly killed her mother. It’s the fox inside her, her mother tells her. (The one time being called a fox is a bad thing, amirite?)
Also at the school is Mason, who runs into Lucas’ friend Corey. The weird thing? He’s reading a book called Miraculous Healing. So yeah, he’s a chimera. Also, I’m dying to know what’s in the book. “So your skin just healed after getting a cut. Now what?” Only in Beacon Hills.
Okay, it’s plan time: Using the telluric currents, Scott and Stiles determine that Hayden will be safe(ish) from the Dread Doctors at the high school, with a little extra assistance from three cell phone signal jammers that Parrish is working on.
But before Scott heads to the school to carry out the plan, Kira takes herself out of the equation. She knows that she needs to figure out what’s going on with herself before she can help anyone else. Plus, she and telluric currents don’t really mix, which is an understatement.
As she kisses Scott goodbye, we get a flashback montage through some of their relationship highlights, which is nothing if not a sign that this could be the end of (romantic) days for them. Also not a good sign is the fact that Scott’s plan isn’t just about protecting Hayden. In fact, it’s more so about catching a Dread Doctor.
If they only knew that catching a Dread Doctor was as easy as spying on Theo, who’s currently talking to one at the animal clinic. And by talking, I mean Theo is using a bunch of words, and the Doctor keeps saying that everything is “inconsequential.” Apparently, the Doctors know who’s taking the bodies, but they don’t care. And they certainly don’t care enough to keep Theo in the loop, no matter what their agreement was.
That conversation is put on hold when Stiles enters and sets up his phone so that he and Theo can sit in his car and watch a live video stream of Josh’s body (and hopefully catch the person who comes to take him). The downside of this plan, though, is that Stiles has to sit in his car with Theo, who decides now is the time to see if he can manipulate Stiles.
NEXT: The worst first kiss in the history of first kisses
According to Theo, Stiles reminds him of his sister. (Yep, he just played the dead sister card.) She was smarter than everyone else, a pain in the ass, and always looking out for him. He then reveals that he was the one who discovered her body in the lake after the hypothermia killed her. Theo always felt he should’ve been looking out for her, and now, he’s going to look out for Stiles.
Cue the flashback where we see Theo’s sister, still very much alive in the lake, as she calls for Theo’s help. Theo, meanwhile, is standing on the bridge watching her die from approximately 4 feet away. So by saying Stiles reminds him of his younger sister, is he saying that he’s going to watch Stiles die?
Elsewhere, Kira’s mother tries acupuncture to restore the balance of power within her daughter. Right now, the fox-versus-human battle within her is being won by the fox, and for some reason, she thinks these needles will help the human side. Flashforward to the end of the episode, and not only is Kira gone, but the needles have been used to spell out “115” on her headboard. (Please don’t ask me why.)
With Scott and Lydia and company setting up the high school to protect Hayden—but really to lure a Dread Doctor into their supernatural fishing net—Melissa and Stilinski illegally look through the medical files of all the chimeras looking for a connection. The answer? All of the chimeras had received an allogenic transplant at some point in their lives, meaning they received something from another individual. Basically, that DNA swap meant they were all genetic chimeras to begin with, before the Doctors even got their hands on them.
Back at the animal clinic, Theo asks Stiles why he’s scared to tell Scott about Donavan. The answer is simple: Stiles thinks it will cost him his best friend. Of course, Theo believes in something called justifiable homicide, and considering that he just killed a chimera and his eyes didn’t turn blue, he seems to have a point. At least until Stiles tells him that could have something to do with Theo just not feeling guilty/generally being a sociopath. But when asked how he felt the moment he killed Donavan, Stiles responds, “Good.” (Because he saved his own life or because he’s now going to get addicted to killing?)
At the school, Hayden promises to forgive Liam for sixth grade if he gets her out of this mess. You know, just a small favor to ask. Of course, that favor only becomes more difficult when Liam discovers that Scott is using her as Dread Doctor bait.
Meanwhile, outside, Parrish finds a playing card on his car floor. On it is Lydia’s face as the Queen. Suddenly, Lydia is in his car and they’re kissing. And then things go from hot to way-too-smoking-hot when Lydia becomes a burn victim and CONTINUES TO MAKE OUT WITH PARRISH. It’s by far the worst first kiss imaginable, so it’s a good thing it’s all in his head … I think.
With that, he takes off in his car, and just as Malia goes after him, a bear trap pops out of the school’s floor and gets her ankle. Then another latches onto her arm before something else stabs her through the throat. So while I panic that they just killed Malia, the Doctors walk by all nonchalantly like they own the place—they’re like the (incredibly unstylish) popular kids in high school in this scenario. And in this moment, we see Malia through their eyes: She’s perfectly fine. So all the pain is in her head? Are the Doctors causing hallucinations like they’re the Scarecrow in the Batman world or something?
I’m thinking it has to be, because when Scott goes to get Hayden’s pills from her locker, he’s stabbed through the chest—and then strangled—by Kira, whose creepy deep fox voice is yelling “I am the messenger of death.” And yet, when Mason shows up and snaps Scott out of it by cutting him, Kira’s not there. So I’m guessing that wasn’t real either.
The important thing is this: When Lydia envisions Tracy while going after Scot, she ends up on the floor thinking her tongue was just ripped out—an image I will never forget. And that leaves Liam and Hayden alone to be taken by the doctors.
The last we see of the adorable not-quite couple, Liam is being pumped full of something, and Hayden appears to be having her back cut into? Again, so confused.
And all this brings us back around to Lydia’s vision from the premiere. When Parrish leaves the school, he surprises Theo with a flaming punch to the face, followed by Parrish flipping Stiles’ Jeep. Parrish then steals Josh’s body before Theo wakes up and pulls Stiles (not far enough) away from his flaming car.
Last but not least, Melissa comes home to discover a dead chimera in her kitchen. The most interesting part, however, is the blade in the chimera’s chest: It’s Kira’s belt-sword. Yeah, Scott’s not going to love that.
– When the Dread Doctors were walking down the street, one of them definitely looked female, no?
– What were the Doctors pumping into Liam? And, if you ask me, it looked like they were maybe giving Hayden a tail. At least, that’s my best guess.
– What does 115 mean?
– What is with the Lydia playing card that sets Parrish off? Who’s triggering him?
– Is the Desert Wolf involved in any of this?
– I have a hard time believing that Scott wouldn’t forgive Stiles for killing a chimera to save his own life. This is Stiles we’re talking about after all—he’s human and he had to defend himself.
– Based on the back of that one head, the Doctors are very, very, very old. Also, you think they’d experiment with hair plugs.
– What is Corey?
– Will the Jeep be okay?
– Did Parrish cock his gun before he put it in in the back of his pants? That seems like a disaster waiting to happen.