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Survivor recap: Troy Is Nobody's Boy

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Troy Robertson
Robert Voets/CBS

Survivor

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
seasons:
32
run date:
05/31/00
performer:
Jeff Probst
broadcaster:
CBS
genre:
Reality TV

Here’s a question to ponder tonight: Is it possible to be likeable downing peanut butter and chocolate, while being draped in a plush towel after taking your first shower in 26 days?  Sorry, Kim, but I don’t think so.  And wow, I do want to like her. She’s one of the best players left and the smartest of the women — even her nemesis Troyzan says so. Also, she’s got the best taste in swimwear. And that hair! But there’s nothing like being too powerful (and flaunting that power by using your money for some shampoo and a vat of peanut butter) to make me hate you.

But let’s rewind to before Kim got her shower on. The remaining players walked back to camp after voting off male model Jay and immediately Troy started to see the light. “Jay got voted out so I’m basically the next in line,” said Mr. No Duh. Instead of doing the smart thing and starting to plant seeds on the sly with the lower people on the totem pole, Troy tried to kick up the dirt with Christina in front of everyone else. Did he think the women would just let him try to align with one of their own (albeit the least tied to the alliance)? Hell no. Alicia immediately went on the offensive, attacking Troy (under the guise of defending Christina) for berating Christina. Did Christina do anything at all to impress either Troy or the women’s alliance? Of course not. Not to agree with the hateful Colton, but she’s really a useless player.

Now, when you’re the odd man out, you can go a couple of ways. You can try to build a new alliance (which Troyzan sorta kinda did) or you can become a crazy, offensive, ranting lunatic (which Troyzan definitely did). Channeling his best backwards misogynist, he ranted that the remaining female contestants are just like women everywhere. “They get their food, they get their house, and as soon as they don’t need you anymore, they’re done.” If there’s anything less likeable than a wedding dress saleslady feeding herself peanut butter by the handful while draped in a towel, it’s a guy who’s been outplayed by women going on a woman-hating rant. Yeah, women sure are horrible. None of them ever earn anything on their own. And those silly men in their lives keep falling for them and actually feeding them and making them not sleep on the street. Damn, that 51 percent of the world’s population!

Now comes the part that I’m ashamed to admit. I want to hate Troyzan because rants like that are inexcusable. But I can’t help but root for an underdog…especially one who deserves to be there so much more than some of the other morons on the island this season…especially one who doesn’t know that the “B” in “BLT” stands for bacon.

NEXT: The price of doughnuts just went up!

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