”Survivor”: There’s a first time for everything
Taking over the TV Watch for Survivor can be a big drag — and not just because our boy Dalton is damn near irreplaceable. It’s because this season of Survivor sucks! How else to explain why homeboy has been gone so much from this year’s weekly TV Watch? (Then again, I suppose it could also be because he’s taping a new show for a basic-cable network, but I like to think he’s just plum bored.)
All I can say is, dude picked a bad night to play hooky. Probst said it best after that ax-chucking reward challenge was over: This episode marked the first time a player (the abso-frickin’-lutely awesome Yau-Man) has given up a car award and the first time a player has banished himself to Exile Island! Now I don’t necessarily fault him for pawning off that F-350 onto Dreamz: Clearly, Yau-Man, like me, Cassandra, and the interminably useless Stacy, doesn’t give a hill of beans about a truck with best-in-class towing capabilities of up to 12 tons. (In fact, I’ve had it in for trucks ever since my senior-prom date decided to pick me up in his uncle’s canary yellow pickup. Since when does a gun rack go with a high-necked Jessica McClintock?) And maybe Yau actually buys into that Survivor myth that anyone who wins a car will never earn the $1 million. What better solution than to dump the damn wheels!
But I do have a bit of trouble with the deal Yau brokered in return: Dreamz must give him the immunity idol — if he wins it — when they get to the final four. In those first few moments after the challenge, Dreamz would have agreed to anything if it meant getting a truck he so obviously wanted. (But seriously, who among us really needs a super-duty pickup with dual-stage turbo and rear leaf springs? Speaking of which, who among us actually knows what dual stage turbo and rear leaf springs are?)
Clearly Dreamz thought better of it the minute he began enjoying some eats with those inner-island kids; rather than face any pesky ethical challenges, he was gonna make sure Yau was gone this week. That’s using the ol’ noodle, cheer boy! Too bad Yau was already way ahead of him. Thanks to his ingenious decision to banish himself to Exile Island, Yau got another clue and, together with Earl, found the second hidden immunity idol, which would (theoretically) take them both to the final four. It seemed as if all were going right in the world, until Dreamz proved he had at least one three-hundredth of Yau’s brain by teaming with the interminably useless Stacy and that turncoat Cassandra to convince Yau and Earl that the interminably useless Stacy would get booted when in reality they would secretly vote out Yau. And it looked as if their dastardly plan would work, until the interminably useless Stacy began flapping her gums at tribal council and suggesting the vote wouldn’t be a slam dunk after all. Wrong answer! Yau, who had been feeling suspicious, smelled a rat and flashed his idol — thus sending the interminably useless Stacy packing instead. Ah, but the plot thickened. Since Probst didn’t show the last vote against Yau, now Boo, Cassandra, and Dreamz will all probably try to pretend that they didn’t turn on him. [Thanks, readers, for clearing this up. (Blame the editor, not the writer.)]
Ah, so much more to go on about — like Cassandra’s stunning weight loss and Dreamz calling his new truck ”lovely” — but it’s time for you guys to sound off. Do you think Dreamz will honor his deal? Is Cassandra a better player than we took her for? And will Yau-Man win the money he so rightly deserves?