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Survivor recap: All About the Benjamins

Coach joins the list of players refusing to be called by a first name, while Savaii sees a major shake-up

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Coach Wade
Image Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS

Survivor

type:
TV Show
genre:
Reality TV
run date:
05/31/00
performer:
Jeff Probst
broadcaster:
CBS
seasons:
34
Current Status:
In Season

So a guy walks into a pizza parlor and says, “Hey, I’m looking for Pepé.”

“Who?” says the manager.

“Pepé. Is Pepé here?”

“I don’t think so. Pepé! Anyone here named Pepé?”

No one answers.

“Sorry, no Pepé here, buddy,” says the manager.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure Pepé is right behind you,” says the customer.

The manager looks behind him but sees only pizzas just out of the oven.

“There ain’t nobody behind me,” says the manager.

“Sure there is. There’s Pepé. Pepé Roni!”

The manager then takes out a shotgun and shoots the customer in the face.

HA! HA! HA! Hilarious! Just a little “Chucky The Cheese” humor courtesy of my good friend Benjamin. Benjamin loves “Chucky The Cheese” jokes and Halloween jokes too. You know what else Benjamin loves? Being called Benjamin! Or Benji for short. Either one will do. Beep! Beep! Then you’ll be in the driver’s seat, baby!

Enough tomfoolery. Let’s get to last night’s doozy of an episode of Survivor: South Pacific. It’s a new day, and that means another new personality switch for Brandon. After offering a heartfelt apology to Mikayla, he’s now back to accusing her of having no class for dissing the Hantz family. Make up your mind, dude! Is she an evil temptress out to seduce all decent God-fearing men, or just some woman minding her own business? Brandon once again devolves into tears, insisting that “I’m a good person. I’m a good guy.” Hey, in the Hantz family, maybe he is. You know, if you’re grading on a curve and all.

The duel within Brandon then segues to the actual duel between Stacey and Christine to stay alive in the game. Stacey, knowing she will lose because she is Stacey, wants to make sure she sabotages her own tribe, especially the man who tried to hug it out with her at Tribal Council. She talks all about…honestly, I have no idea what she’s talking about. I rewatched it three times and can only make out bits and pieces. Something about Coach, Sophie and Albert running things, and Halloween, and hugs, and POW!, and someone named Chucky The Cheese that may or may not bear any relation to Chuck E. Cheese. (Heaven help us if Stacey and Ralph from last season ever make it on the same tribe. They’ll have to call that installment Survivor: Subtitle Island.) The one thing that is clear is that Stacey is refusing to call Coach by his self-appointed nickname, something which actually falls in line with my recent rant about players going to great lengths to force people to call them something other than their actual first name.

NEXT: Why adventure is overrated

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