”Survivor”: Something to sink our teeth into
First off, sorry I left you guys hanging on the TV Watch last week, but I found a hidden immunity idol buried under a stack of Milwaukee’s Best beer cans in my living room and used it, thereby getting a one-week reprieve. But I’m back. Can you feel the excitement? Can you? (You know what, don’t answer that.) While there were certainly things I did not dig about this latest Survivor: Fiji episode — can we put a moratorium on scenes of contestants in helicopters marveling at their locale from the sky, as well as the requisite shot of a castaway crying while reading a letter from home? — I’m not going to go off on how this amounted to another disappointing episode because enough is enough in that department. Instead, let’s do something absolutely crazy and talk about what I did like about this latest installment.
· Dreamz coming out of the last tribal council announcing that he was ”trying to do the math real quick.” Why do I get the feeling there was nothing quick about that?
· Boo doing the worst, least convincing job of breaking up a conversation that I have ever seen in my entire life. The other members of ”the Syndicate” were worried Stacy was flipping over to join Alex, so they needed someone to smoothly go in there and get her back. I’m not sure sending in a certified klutz in a FLOZ hat was the way to go on that one, but it made for hilariously awkward television.
· Cassandra saying Yau was playing the game a lot like ”street ball.” Dig, I lived near the Cage on West Fourth Street for a decade, so I’ve seen my fair share of street ball, and unless Yau’s planning to throw the hidden immunity idol over to Earl via a no-look pass, I still can’t figure out what the hell she was talking about.
· Watching all seven contestants ripping pork with their teeth straight off the bone in the reward challenge. Special shout-outs go to Stacy, who got bonked in the noggin several times by the carcass (beware of flying meat!), and to Earl and Boo for picking up food off the dirt.
· I wasn’t a big fan of the immunity challenge — digging for paddles and scaling a pole was all pretty anticlimactic — but you had to love Probst calling out Cassandra for her feeble attempt at unearthing her paddles. ”Cassandra digging like a small rabbit as if it’s buried one to two inches,” he announced, while later noting that ”Cassandra just wants it to be over.” For people who hate Cassandra’s game — or lack thereof — this offered plenty of ammunition.
· Stacy calling herself a ”follower” And not just a follower, but a ”follower of Cassandra’s.” Isn’t that sort of like walking around with a big posterboard that says, ”Think she’s lame? Check my s— out!”
· Earl threatening to tackle Boo at tribal council if he gave Alex his immunity necklace. Here’s how I see that battle going down: Earl tackles Boo, who immediately tries to strangle his aggressor with his FLOZ baseball cap. Earl fights off FLOZ cap but is simply not big enough to handle Boo. Boo begins pummeling Earl with his fists, then sees a machete sitting in the corner. He goes to pick it up, but trips on his own feet and lands face first on the machete blade, thereby taking a major gash in the face and splitting his beloved FLOZ cap in two. A horrified Probst asks for medical assistance, but Boo waves him off, says he can continue, and attempts to take his place back on his tribal council stump. However, he stumbles once again into everyone’s torches and inadvertently sets himself on fire. He then runs away screaming like a ninny while Earl grumbles, ”I told him not to give away that damn necklace!”
· And finally, Alex actually using his parting words after being voted off to talk to ”the kids” and telling them, ”Never stop dreaming. Never stop trying.” Dude, all you did was make the jury. It’s not like you won the Super Bowl. Or even Survivor: Fiji, for that matter. Making things even more confusing was when he then went on to accuse the final six of ”living in a dreamland.” Wait, didn’t you just say, ”Never stop dreaming”? Make up your mind, man!
What do you think? Did you like tonight’s challenges? Did they fool you into believing that Alex might actually escape elimination? And who do you most want to see go next?