I’m not gonna lie: From start to finish, this was a pretty intense episode of Survivor. I’m not gonna lie: From start to finish, this was a pretty intense episode of Survivor. I’m not gonna lie: From start to finish, this was a pretty intense episode of Survivor. Oh, I’m sorry. Was that too much? I was just taking my lead from James and thought that to successfully get my point across that I needed to repeat myself a million times for no particular reason. You know what I mean… Y’ALL? That’s another thing: I have never seen more scrutiny over the alleged use of a contraction in my entire life. I have some vaguely southern roots and bust out the word “y’all” from time to time, and I’m usually mocked for doing so, but never has the inclusion or omission of such a word caused such a brouhaha.
Now was that a great Tribal Council or what? James dissing Stephenie. Stephenie talking back to James. Colby jumping in and calling James out like he was taking on Jerri Manthey circa 2001. Then Tom jumping in and staring down a man twice his size. And there is nothing — nothing! — I love in the entire Survivor universe more than someone still talking smack even after her torch has been snuffed. Before she took that long lonely walk down the blue-lit corridor of death, Steph turned back to James and said “Some advice. Next time ‘ya’ll’ lose a challenge, a little less cursing off your tribe might help.” To which James offered the somewhat lame comeback of “Keep your mouth shut.” (Something he had been unable to do ever since they lost the challenge, I might add.)
My immediate thoughts upon taking in this whole scene were as follows:
Thought #1: Did I just witness a bona fide bout of Roid Rage?
Thought #2: I bet producers off camera were high-fiving each other like crazy the entire time. And then feeling mildly embarrassed and wondering if they should have fist-bumped instead.
Thought #3: What the hell are Stephenie and Sugar gonna talk about in the sequester house? I’m not sensing a lot of common ground there. I think it begins and ends at the letter S.
Thought #4: Was Colby’s lip quivering when he called James “bro”? And who still uses the word “bro” anyway? (The same people who high five, perhaps?)
Thought #5: Why does Amanda need glasses at Tribal Council? Is that to combat her image as one of the stupidest Tribal Council performers ever?
Thought #6: You know, Amanda doesn’t look bad in glasses.
Thought #7: Then again, Amanda doesn’t look bad without glasses either.
Make no mistake: This was an insanely satisfying Tribal Council. Sure, we’ve seen sniping and shouting at T.C. before, but not from a tribe consisting of the most popular and allegedly likable contestants ever. I haven’t seen Heroes go so downhill so fast since NBC decided to teleport Masi Oka back to 17th century feudal Japan. (Oh, snap!) But it wasn’t just the angst and anger I loved; it was the stakes that were so clearly laid out. The first boot for the Heroes was easy: Everyone wanted Sugar gone. But now it was time to pick sides. It was no longer Heroes vs Villains, but rather Heroes vs Heroes (with the Villains all back sitting around the campfire singing “Kumbaya”), and watching these pristine personalities get down and dirty in the process was a treat. Okay, let’s back it up a bit and take it from the top.
NEXT: Down goes Boston Rob… and a cameraman!