Blame it on Parvati. And Cirie. And Amanda, and Natalie, and Alexis. If you’re a woman contestant on Survivor: Gabon and you’re wondering why your fellow females are dropping like flies, allow me to put forth two theories. (1) You’re the ones voting them out. And (2) The men saw how bad the women made them look in Micronesia and decided to get rid of them all right of the bat. We’ve now had six eliminations, and — with the sole exception of G.C., whoasked people to send him home so that doesn’t really count — every single one has been a female. Honestly, I don’t blame the fellas. I would do the same thing after watching that collection of black widows the season before. Now, why the women who are still in the game are allowing this to happen is a good question. Because if it merely comes down to keeping the stronger players around, well, eventually that’s going to make for one really big dude fest. (I’m not quite sure how appropriate the phrase “sausage party” is so I went with “dude fest” instead. But seeing as how I just wrote sausage party anyway, I suppose I should have just gone with my first instinct to begin with. It just flows better. Do me a favor: Please go back and re-read the last sentence and replace the term “dude fest” with “sausage party.” Think of it as aSurvivor TV Watch: Director’s Cut.)
Speaking of dudes (or…er, sausages), I want to address two of them. Let’s start with Matty and allow me to say this: I was wrong. I told you last week that while none of us in the press were really impressed with him in interviews before the game, Probst insisted fans would really like him. The guy actually struck me as a possible quitter, and through five hours, he still had made no impression on me whatsoever. But after watching him perform in those two challenges last night, I am officially on Team Matty. Sure, he may mangle words in a Bushonian fashion, and sure, he may have listed food and his dog on a list of things he misses before his girlfriend, but he showed the heart of a…well, not a champion, since he seems to lose every competition he’s in, but the point is — the man truly gave it his all. He pushed his tribemates as hard as he could in the reward challenge and sparked an almost amazing comeback in the immunity competition. He’s the anti-G.C. While I think our little surfer boy is way too naive to do much strategic damage in this game, he won me over with his performance here.
NEXT: I swear!