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Survivor recap: Dumbest. Tribe. Ever.

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Survivor One World Greg Smith
Monty Brinton/CBS

Survivor

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
seasons:
32
run date:
05/31/00
performer:
Jeff Probst
broadcaster:
CBS
genre:
Reality TV

Right after the Survivor: One World premiere — in which the men won the immunity challenge after Kourtney had to bow out with an injury — I wrote the following:

“Regardless, the challenge is over, unless Probst can somehow convince the men to do the dumbest thing in the history of Survivor and continue on under the threat of possibly losing their immunity. But seeing as how the tribe is not made up of Erik Reichenbach, James Clement, J.T. Thomas, Tyson Apostol, John Cochran, and Brandon Hantz, that’s not going to happen.”

I would just like to state for the record that I was wrong. Dead wrong. Turns out all you need are Colton, Tarzan, Troyzan, Jonas, Bill, Leif, Jay, and Michael. They’re totally dumb enough! I’m working really hard — at least as hard as someone can work after consuming three Milwaukee’s Bests — to come up with reasons for why agreeing to go to Tribal Council after winning the immunity challenge is not the stupidest move in Survivor history. So far I’m coming up empty. It’s dumber than a single individual giving up immunity because it is easy for one person to be a moron, but very, very difficult for there to be such a high level of collective idiocy. All it took was one single person among the eight Manono tribe members to say, “Nope. I don’t agree with it. Worst case scenario I get voted out. Best case scenario we lose our numbers advantage going into the merge. No thanks.” And yet no one did. (It should be pointed out here that even though there may be a tribe shake-up next week —as previews suggest there could be — no way anyone could have known that was coming.)

Yes, winning an immunity challenge and then going to Tribal Council anyway is, in many regards, no different than simply throwing a challenge — as we have seen tribes do in Pearl Islands, Cook Islands, and Redemption Island. But there is one big difference. In those instances, not everyone was in on it. Each of those tribes had at least one person that was still fighting to win and stay in it. This is not to minimize the stupidity in throwing a challenge, but rather to maximize how complexly ludicrous this action — which required 100% compliance — was. (I would argue that the tribe simply had one big brain fart, but that would imply that gas passer extraordinaire Kat was somehow involved.) Need any more proof as to how dumb these men are? They keep treating Colton like he is some sort of genius with all encompassing powers. Colton! When you get moronic behavior on such a grand scale, what you end up with is…well, Survivor: One World.

And with that, let’s take it from the top of the episode. Things begin with the men returning from voting the Rooster out at Tribal Council. “These guys don’t know what they’re doing,” says Michael in a statement that initially comes off as sour grapes but later seems like more of a warning. It is right around this time when it is revealed that Leif is, in fact, a vampire. An inventive vampire at that — using one of the Do-it-Yourself reward challenge crates as his makeshift sleeping coffin. (Step right up, ladies, for your Team Leif t-shirts! Edward and Jacob are so yesterday’s news.)

NEXT: Christina gets a leg up — two legs, actually — on the competition

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