There are many reasons to love country superstar Kenny Rogers. Reason #1: The Hair. And when I talk about Kenny Rogers’ hair, I’m talking about the hair on both his face and the top of his head. I can’t speak to any hair from the shoulders down, and frankly I don’t care to, but that luscious feathered mane (resembling the bastard love child of Santa Claus and Rick Springfield) mixed with that manly beard (resembling Santa Claus’ other bastard love child with The Dukes of Hazzard‘s Uncle Jesse) made the man a full-on fashion icon. Reason #2: Delicious Roasted Chicken. I don’t know where Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurants came from, and I don’t know to where exactly they disappeared. Nor do I know why Kenny Rogers associated himself with a fast food chain specializing in chicken in the first place when another white haired/bearded icon (Colonel Sanders) had already clearly cornered the market. Was Rogers hoping people would simply get them confused and walk into a Kenny Rogers Roasters by accident instead? I don’t know and I don’t care. But if there was no Popeyes, Church’s, KFC, or Boston Market within a five-mile radius in the mid-1990s, then I was not above patronizing a Kenny Rogers Roasters. Reason #3: He Sang with Dolly Parton. Yes, the song kind of sucked, but that was about as close to cool as Kenny Rogers ever came. I mean, the guy owned a chain of roasted chicken restaurants for crying out loud! Not a lot of street cred there. Reason #4: These Lyrics from “The Gambler”: “You got to know when to hold ’em/Know when to fold ’em/Know when to walk away/And know when to run.”
I don’t just love those lyrics — I live them! And yes, that means my life involves a lot of running. And, occasionally, hiding. But those lyrics were the first thing I thought of after watching this latest episode of Survivor. (Okay, second thing. First was how can I not have any beer in the fridge on a Survivor night?!?) We saw a major poker play in tonight’s episode. Marty sitting there with an immunity idol. He thinks the plan is to vote off Jane, but then Brenda starts attacking him at Tribal Council. To use the idol or not to use the idol? That question has bedeviled many a Survivor contestant. (Hi, James!) I thought for sure Marty would use it at that point. But he didn’t panic. He stayed seated as Probst asked if anyone wanted to use a hidden idol. Then the votes revealed a 3-3 tie with him and Kelly B. And you and I and everyone else out there thought the exact same thing: Dude, you are sooooooooo screwed.
The younger tribe members now had Marty at their mercy. He couldn’t use the idol and they could vote as they pleased. Then, something truly shocking happened. More shocking than someone who can’t walk still being in the game. More shocking than the mere existence of something called the Medallion of Power. More shocking than the fact that one of the hottest women of the season, Kelly Purple, has received only a Brett-from-Samoa level of screen time so far.
NEXT: The former Survivor player that Marty strongly resembles.