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Whoa, that didn’t work out so well. I figured I would try to write this week’s Survivor recap blindfolded. However not only did none of that make any sense, but I also somehow managed to ram my face into the screen and drop the laptop on my cat, which sent her airborne, where she landed on and scratched my face, which caused me to fall down and impale my groin on the corner of my MacBook.
Let me tell you something: I watched college football, and I’ve never been here. It’s scary. I’m ready to fall over. I can’t think. True, that may be the six-pack of Milwaukee’s Best I consumed, but the point stands! This is the most physical recap I’ve ever participated in. But it is worth it. Because this season of Survivor: Cambodia—Second Chance is (so far) flat-out awesome. Four stellar episodes out of the gate. This is season 31, people. SEASON FREAKIN’ 31!!! This show should have started sucking years ago. (And I guess, technically, it kinda did if you count Survivor: Thailand.)
The ability of this program to continue to astound, excite, thrill, and shock over 15 years in is downright absurd. It actually makes me feel sorry for all those folks that stopped watching because they thought they had seen it all or because they’d suffered through one or two less-than-spectacular seasons. You know those people: the ones when you mention Survivor that go, “Oh, is that still on?” even though they know good and well it is still on because they still see the ads all the time. Yeah, those people. They try to make you feel dumb for continuing to watch. If only they knew what they were missing. But they don’t, because they bailed. Their loss. This latest episode was filled with amazing moments that reminded you why you fell in love with this show in the first place. Let’s go through a few of them, shall we?
Be careful whom you align with. The ultimate alliance partner is someone who is predictable in both their behavior and actions. In essence, anyone but Abi. After blindsiding Woo’s ally Peih-Gee at Tribal Council, Tasha told Woo not to worry. “You’re good,” she told him. “You’re not going anywhere.” Whether she meant this or not, it’s a smart move. You always want people to feel safe. That minimizes scrambling and the chances that they can mobilize something against you. A safe-feeling player is a lazy player. Tasha was doing exactly what she should be in this instance. But do you think Abi realized that?
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“Tasha, I’m really uncomfortable with what just happened,” Abi confronted her, while insisting on doing it right in front of the rest of the tribe. “I have a problem when you take someone who just voted for me aside and have a conversation with him in private.” This is so ludicrous and dumb. But here’s the thing: Abi may be driving you crazy, but it is wild cards like her that keep shaking things up and forcing others to constantly adapt to her whims. I don’t necessarily love watching Abi, but I love watching others having to deal with Abi. She’s like a heat-seeking missile deployed by producers to blow up anyone that resides in her immediate vicinity.
Abi is like the anti-Spencer. Spencer’s struggle has been to show an emotional side to other players so they do not see him as merely logic and strategy, but Abi is all emotion. Every decision she makes is dictated by her emotions. And her emotions are often completely irrational, which makes her all the more unpredictable and, therefore, all the more dangerous. She would be an absolute NIGHTMARE to play with. But we don’t have to. We just have to watch those who choose to either align with her or go up against her deal with the consequences.
On the plus side, we did not have to endure any images of Stephen Fishbach attempting to chop something this week. However, in its place we watched as Jeremy fooled Fish into wasting time looking for an immunity idol that did not exist. Not only that, but Jeremy made a point of telling Stephen to look up in the trees. This can only lead to one of two things: a montage of Stephen being unable to climb trees, or a montage of Stephen falling out of trees. Maybe it’s a combo of the two — unsuccessful climbing mixed with successful falling. All I know is that it is not going to end well for Fishbach as his Humiliation Tour 2015 continues. (Next stop: Trying to touch the immunity idol after a challenge!)
NEXT: A kinder, gentler Kass?