1. used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself and one or more other people considered together.
<"shall we have a drink?”>
2. used in formal contexts for or by a royal person, or by a writer or editor, to refer to himself or herself.
<"in this section we discuss the reasons”>
3. something to be repeated ad nauseam at Tribal Council for no apparent reason whatsoever.
<"Jeremy, how confident are you in your we tonight?”>
I have to be honest: I have no idea what just happened at Tribal Council on the latest episode of Survivor. I mean, I understand that Abi got voted out (and most likely torched Ponderosa approximately 13 seconds after arriving there), but I still have no basic clue as to what the hell was discussed during the actual Tribal Council ceremony. There was a lot of talk about “we” — which for some odd reason was deemed a remarkable development. Kimmi told us about her we, Keith discussed his we, Spencer explained his we, and Jeremy implied he had a lot of we. So either they were all talking about going to the bathroom or I have no idea what they were talking about. Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down, perhaps?
So that was all a bit confounding. As was Abi voting for Keith when she had a plan with Kelley, Keith, and (she thought) Spencer to vote out Tasha. And then she goes and votes for Keith? Who, it should be noted, randomly voted for Tasha last week. What are these people doing?!? The whole thing is almost as confusing as Stephen Fishbach’s Tribal Council Jury shirt. Don’t believe me? Just look at that thing:
Is there a Tommy Bahama pop-up store at Ponderosa where the jury hangs out or something? You combine that shirt with Savage’s beanie hat and have the ultimate absurd Tribal Council outfit. It’s as if a wannabe hipster got lost inside a Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville. Not unlike the Wonder Twins, those forces need to combine for awesome effect. What’s going to happen next week? Is Ciera going to bust out a pair of moon boots?
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. There is a lot to get to because this is the penultimate recap of the season and that means it is also time for our updated Survivor season-by-season rankings. Where will Survivor: Cambodia — Second Chance fall? You’ll have to stick around to find out. But before we get to the rankings, let’s blast through this recap at record pace… which, for me, will still be way too slow.
But first… we have one other matter of business to attend to. I have one super cool opportunity for one super cool Survivor fan. As many of you may know, when I was out on location in Cambodia before the season, I had the entire cast of 20 players write Thank You Notes to their fans for voting them onto the season. I then took pictures of each of them holding them up and posted them on my Instagram. Well, I still have the original Survivor Thank You Notes and want to send the entire collection (along with the full set of photos of them being held up by the players) to one lucky fan, and that fan could be you!
I thought it would be cool to raise some money for a charity connected to this show, and this season in particular, and I can’t think of anything better than the Danny Strong Fund. As you saw on the show, Terry Deitz had to leave midway through the season when his son Danny required immediate medical care. Danny — now a 17-year-old high school junior — was found to have an enlarged heart, spent months in the hospital, and had open-heart surgery, and then had a successful heart transplant in September. Terry and his family have started up the Danny Strong Fund to “support the priorities of the Boston Children’s Hospital Heart Center including research around cardiomyopathy and other congenital heart diseases, the extraordinary needs of patient families, and education of staff and patient families.”
Obviously, this is something that hits home for the Survivor community now and this cast in particular. My daughter was also born with a heart issue, so it holds special significance for me as well. Well, here is an instance where we can give back to help. I encourage everybody to go right here to donate, but for one of you lucky and selfless bastards, you can win the entire collection of Survivor Thank You Notes written by the cast. I’m officially putting the entire set up for auction. Just tweet me @DaltonRoss with the hashtag #SurvivorAuction and how much you are willing to bid to win the notes.
We’ll keep the auction open until 3 p.m. ET on Dec. 16 (the day of the finale) and the highest bidder will get the Thank You notes written by Joe, Spencer, Ciera, Kelley, Fishbach, and everyone else. It’s a super-cool exclusive Survivor memento, and it can be all yours! Tweet me @DaltonRoss with your bid and #SurvivorAuction now! Then come back and read the rest of my recap. Go ahead, I’ll wait… All done? Great. Let’s go ahead and recap this sucker!
NEXT: Keith tries to remember Tasha’s name