We gave it a B+
Supernatural family! Welcome to season 13, where everything is feeling pretty bleak and yet I’m very excited about it. Why do things feel bleak? Well, I’m pretty sure I don’t have to remind you, but when season 12 ended, Crowley and Castiel were dead and Mary was trapped in the apocalypse world with Lucifer. And then there’s the little problem of Lucifer’s son, you know, existing.
Speaking of Jack, that’s where this season picks up. After Jack mistakenly thinks Sam is his father — you wish, kid — Dean leaves Castiel’s side to head inside and figure out what’s going on…and it doesn’t take him long to learn that shooting at Jack is not a good idea. The second Dean fires a shot, Jack’s eyes light up and he somehow suspends the brothers in midair before throwing them backward and knocking them both out.
They don’t wake up until it’s light outside (and only after Dean has a nightmare about Mary once again burning on the ceiling). Together, Sam and Dean set off to find Jack, who either can’t teleport or hasn’t learned how yet because he’s currently walking naked through the drive-thru at a fast-food restaurant, where he attempts to order a father off the menu. (Probably not the weirdest order they’ve heard.)
Some poor kid working inside calls his mother, who happens to be the local sheriff, and she arrives to take Jack to the station. There, they dress him in clothes from the lost and found, where apparently, someone was really into the whole Western vibe. The sheriff then attempts to question Jack, which obviously doesn’t go well. All the guy knows is that his mother is in heaven — which the sheriff needs to write down as if it’s a helpful tip? — and that he’s trying to find his father. As for what he remembers, Jack says he remembers “when the bad woman burned,” which I believe was Dagon? Regardless, the sheriff decides to take his thumb print — which gets her nowhere — while her son tries to figure out exactly how high Jack is. When asked what he’s on, Jack responds, “I’m on a chair, on the floor, on the planet Earth.” And you know what? He’s not wrong. But Jack swears he’s not stoned. He’s just hungry. (Also something a stoned person would say.)
While all this is happening, two angels are hunting Jack, and Sam and Dean are doing their best to beat them to him. But the brothers are already disagreeing on what to do once they find him. Dean’s plan is simple: They kill Jack and then they figure everything else out. As for Cas? Dean is sure that he’s really dead this time.
Pulling up to Pirate Pete’s Jolly Treats — the fast-food restaurant where Jack ordered the healthiest thing on the menu — Sam walks in and gets the intel they need while Dean takes a walk and returns with bloody knuckles and a solemn attitude. Needless to say, he’s not in the mood to talk to the drunk girl in desperate need of fries when he returns to the car. Thankfully, Sam interrupts them and tells Dean to head to the police station.
There, Jack is discovering the many wonders of the world, starting with nougat. (Apparently part of being a Nephilim means using your powers to to get free candy out of vending machines? Sign me up!) But once angel radio starts hurting his head, he accidentally uses his powers to hurt the sheriff. Before he can do any more damage, Sam tases him.
However, when the sheriff rounds the corner, she throws both Sam and Jack in a cell while Dean explains to her that monsters are real and so are angels…and half-angels…and pretty much everything. (Next: A funeral for Castiel)