Before we even talk about tonight’s episode, can I just say how very excited I am by the return of Death in next week’s finale?! Of the Four Horsemen, he is by far my favorite, and whatever is happening to make him return, I’m a fan of it. Okay, now that that’s off my chest, let’s talk about what just happened.
To sum things up quickly: This penultimate hour was emotional, it was stressful, and Dean killed all of the Stynes. Every last one of them. And guess what? It was pretty great.
We start things off at a college in Louisiana, where the youngest Styne is being picked on by the world’s most confusing bully. (Seriously, is that facial hair supposed to look cool?) Of course, Eli Styne—whose hair is taller than ever—doesn’t take kindly to bullies, so he brings the guy home for a good old game of Operation. Sadly, for the youngest Styne, it means the first time he’s forced to cut someone up. But happily, for Eldon, it means a new forearm. (You know, because he ripped his own off last week.) So basically, we’ve somehow managed to find a family even more messed up than the Winchesters.
Speaking of our beloved Winchesters, they’re currently giving Charlie the hunter’s funeral she deserves, burning her body on a pyre, just like they did for many before her (including their father). But when Sam tries to apologize to Charlie, Dean isn’t having it. And in the first gasp-worthy moment of the hour, Dean tells Sam, “I think it should be you up there and not her.” Seriously, how do I even respond to how heartbreaking this is?
As for what comes next, Sam promises to shut down his plan to decode the Book of the Damned, while Dean goes hunting for any and every Styne he can find.
By the time Sam returns to shut down his secret operation, Cas is ready and willing to help put an end to things by killing Rowena—to be fair, she did call him a fish. But when Sam gets Charlie’s email—the one she sent moments before she died and furthermore, died to send—he once again goes against his brother’s wishes. Thanks to Charlie, Rowena can now read the Book of the Damned … but will she?
Short answer: Not until Sam kills Crowley. With that, Sam sets out to murder the king of hell, but let’s just say that everyone has been underestimating Crowley as of late. Just because he’s been trying to be a better guy doesn’t mean that the devil we once met isn’t still in there. And when Sam uses Rowena’s hex bag against Crowley, Crowley is reminded of the person he really is. (And we are reminded of how powerful he really is.)
Pulling a devil’s trap bullet out of his back, Crowley’s eyes turn red as he burns up Rowena’s hex bag like it’s nothing. What would’ve killed a regular demon simply won’t work on Crowley, and now, as he spares Sam’s life, he sends a message to Rowena: He gave her a chance to walk away. And now, “she’ll never see me coming.” (You know things are bad when he calls his own mother a “ginger whore.”)
NEXT: Dean vs. Cas
So with Sam (not really) handling Crowley, Cas is on the hunt for Dean, who finds himself being pulled over and arrested by a police officer. And when the cops knock out Baby’s blinker lights, you know things are about to get ugly.
According to the cops, Monroe Styne put them up to the arrest. And when Dean is warned not to go after the Styne family because they’re “practically gods around here,” he responds, “Yeah well, I kill gods.” And don’t we know it.
At the Styne residence, it doesn’t take long for things to get ugly. First, Dean is tied down—you can’t blame them for wanting his body parts—but thanks to the Mark of Cain, Dean quickly finds his feet and kills everyone in the house.
Dean then heads back to the bunker, where currently, Eldon—new forearm in tact—is teaching the littlest Styne all about Dean Winchester: He has a crappy taste in music—watch yourself, Eldon—he has a hot mom, and he loves flannel. Mostly right. But you can’t forget his love of bacon cheeseburgers … and pie … and his brother. Basically, Eldon Styne doesn’t really know our Dean at all—or else he also would’ve mentioned his hot dad—which is why he finds himself in a deadly situation when Dean shows up at the bunker.
Quickly digging a hole for himself, Eldon calls Charlie “Chuckie,” and less than a minute later, he has a bullet between his eyes. And despite the youngest Styne’s pleas for Dean to spare him because he’s not like his family, Dean is too far gone. He kills the kid as well.
And cue Cas’ perpetually too-late entrance. However, he sort of makes up for it with an epic speech: Yes, Dean might be able to fight off the Mark for centuries, but once his family dies, Cas will be the only one around, forced to watch Dean murder the world. So if there’s a small chance to save Dean, Cas can’t let him leave the room.
But Dean decides he wants to leave, so he beats Cas to a pulp. (Wanna use those angel powers, Cas?) And when Dean picks up Castiel’s angel blade, time stops. He can’t. He won’t. Right?! And then he does … stick the angel blade right NEXT to Cas. He then tells Cas to stay away or “next time I won’t miss.” Yep, my heart stopped in that final moment. After all, Dean killing Cas is part of his prophecy now, right?
Regardless, between losing Charlie, regaining the old Crowley, and watching Dean slip away, the drama is ramping up for another memorable finale. Now the question is: Will there be enough tissues in the world to handle what comes next?