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So You Think You Can Dance recap: Bloody Disgusting

The audition rounds end with a trip to Salt Lake City and one dancer’s gross foot injury

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So Think Dance Judges
Kelsey McNeal/Fox

So You Think You Can Dance

TV Show
Reality TV
run date:
Nigel Lythgoe, Cat Deeley, Mary Murphy
Current Status:
In Season

I’d like to start today’s So You Think You Can Dance recap with some kind of witty nod to the fact that it didn’t take all that long for me to return to the SYTYCD fold, something along the lines of secretly enjoying racing back once again into Mary Murphy’s perma-tanned bosom. But I’m finding it kinda difficult even to type right now, given than I’m writing this while curled in a tight ball on my couch, desperately trying in vain to rid my memory of the image of perky ballroom dancer Leigh Asay’s pretty painted toenail propped up like a pneumatic car hood and oozing a fair amount of blood besides. [Shudder.] [Double shudder.] [Quintuple shudder while rocking back and forth, clutching all ten of my toes, vowing to wear only steel-toed boots from now until my deathbed.] Of course, I only watched it while cowering behind (several of) my pillows; poor Leigh had to actually live through it, and somehow she did so with superhuman good cheer, so I guess I’d better suck it up, right? No? You’re still all skeeved out by it too? Well, let’s just quickly move on then and forget the whole incident as best we can.

Yep, your old SYTYCD recapper has temporarily returned; Kate Ward, your regular Tuesday night Dance and dancing expert, will be back next week. (I’m now studying The Big Bang Theory every Tuesday morning; please join me!) Other than The-Injury-That-Shall-Not-Ever-Be-Named-Again, last night’s final audition episode in Salt Lake City felt all rather familiar to this fan, trotting out a series of tried-and-true SYTYCD archetypes we’ve all come to know, love, and loathe in equal measures. Some didn’t quite live up to their pre-packaged category, like Hayley Cloud, i.e. The Good-But-Not-Great Dancer With The Heart-Tugging Backstory. In Hayley’s case, that backstory didn’t so much tug as softly nudge — she just had a herniated disc that she treated with physical therapy and acupuncture. Others, however, lived up to their category and then some, no more so than Ashleigh and Ryan Di Lello, e.g. The Ballroom Couple Who Are (Almost) Split Apart. They made that drama all the juicier since (A) they’re married and (B) while Ryan was praised to the rafters, Ashleigh was scolded by all three judges for her lack of genuine chemistry with her husband, a man so textbook smokin’ he could get water to boil by just looking at it. But they weren’t the only dancers to fit nicely into a careworn SYTYCD mold. To wit…

NEXT: Nigel gets stripteased