As reality TV junkies, we’re all prone to heartbreak. We’ve felt our television-loving souls crumble when Michael Johns was voted off American Idol. When Rupert didn’t even come close to the $1 million on Survivor: Pearl Islands. When Bret Michaels chose Taya over Mindy on Rock of Love Bus. (Just me? Okay. Moving on.)
But after suffering crushing blows on So You Think You Can Dance last summer and fall, when we learned both Billy and Alex freaking Wong would be unable to compete, I thought we were headed for happier times. Why wouldn’t we be? We had two major contenders all but locked in for season 7 — and one of them was Alex freaking Wong, a contestant who truly lived up to his (fake) middle name. He was a gorgeous dancer who we quickly learned could tackle anything, be it an awe-inspiring contemporary number, a Tyce Broadway routine (a.k.a. the real kiss of death), or a hard-hitting hip-hop dance.
Yet, as we all know, the SYTYCD gods giveth and they taketh away. So while they gifted us with one of the best hip-hop dances ever to hit the SYTYCD stage last week, they decided to take away the star of that routine this week after an injury left him sidelined. Yes, as much as we want to put our hands up to our ears and hum loudly to block out the news, it’s true: Alex freaking Wong might be leaving season 7. Turns out Alex’s Achilles tendon would not be a Tyce routine, or even the quickstep — no, instead, his Achilles tendon is literally…his Achilles tendon, which was left ruptured after an improper landing. (But since, as Nigel informed us, David Beckham suffered the same injury, we can officially label this rupture the rupture of champions.) Say it with me, friends: NOOOOOOO! Why must you be so cruel, SYTYCD gods?! WHY?!
Of course, Alex isn’t officially out of the competition yet. Because he’s unable to dance this week, he will automatically be placed in the bottom three, with the judges deciding his fate tonight. (Ultimately, however, the doctor will have the final say over whether or not Alex can continue his SYTYCD journey.) So join me, everyone, as I spend the next 24-odd hours chanting while dousing myself in the SYTYCD equivalent of holy water (Pasha’s sweat, of course): ”Our Nigel, who art in CBS Television City, pervy be thy name. Thy judging will come, thy will be done (with one contestant), but please save Alex, for he is heaven.”
NEXT: Jose, AdéChiké, and the judges