“I was here last week. Where the f— were you?” Here’s what you missed: Debs is still pregnant. It’s a nightmare. Kevin and V have neighbor drama, and the Alibi is overrun by overpaying hipsters. Fiona is now the assistant manager of the diner. Ian is not doing so well. Lip beat up Helene’s son because he thought he was her lover. Carl is exactly as you might expect Carl to be following his juvie stint. Frank and Sean are also on the show. Let’s catch up with everyone separately for this week, shall we?
Debbie remains hellbent on keeping her baby, and is convinced that Derek’s parents are the ones who shipped him off to Florida. Fiona is naturally skeptical about this fantasy, and, of course, still wants Debbie to get an abortion, telling Debbie to “be realistic”: How is she going to go to school and have a baby? Well, Fiona, I bet you felt preeeettty stupid when Debs countered with her foolproof plan: Cart a bag of flour around school as if it’s a baby and dress it like a girl in order to prove to Fiona that she can handle the responsibility. Nailed it.
Later, she forgets the bag of flour on the train. This, after learning from Derek’s family that he went to Florida voluntarily, obviously. He wants to be a pilot and, for some reason, sorting out babysitting plans for his high-school graduation did not factor into his life and career goals.
Undeterred, Debs packs her bags, intent on making her way to Florida. She’s caught in the act by Fiona, who barges into her room to tell her that they’re both going to the clinic, right now, because …
Fiona, and by extension, Sean
… Let’s get right to it: Fiona is also pregnant! The Gallaghers are responsible for overpopulation. And don’t worry, it gets worse: She learns of the news shortly after the father of her bundle of joy tells her that he relapsed, having shot up heroin the night before — while they were together. To Sean’s credit, he’s straightforward and honest with Fiona about what he’s done, and that he’ll always be an addict. He’s taken control by going to several meetings over the course of the day — leaving Fiona in the weeds as she tends to the diner — but it’s not yet clear whether he’s really going to meetings, or whether he’s taking off to use up some more of Otis’ stash.
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Fiona is also not dealing well with being an assistant manager, unused to being The Man in the face of deliberately obstinate employees who keep wanting to cook customers’ hash browns with Kleenex. (That’s not something I heard of while I was waiting tables throughout university, but I guess the times, they are a-changin’.)
NEXT: Ian makes me sad, Lip is the Gallagher family’s only prayer, and Carl … is definitely Carl.