According to the tagline of one of the Secrets and Lies Facebook promos this week, ABC wants us to “forget about what we thought we knew.” Yeah, I don’t think that will be a problem. After tonight’s constant back and forth between the night Tom was killed and the present, I’m so confused I can’t remember exactly what it was I thought I knew when this episode started, much less from the past seven weeks. Let’s see if we can make some sense of it. Warning: The nausea you may experience from reading this recap is from the overuse of wavy flashback lines and not from Detective Cornell’s continued resting bitch face, as is usually the case.
It’s Christmas morning, and Ben celebrates by interrupting his lawyer’s family celebration. (BTW, I found out the lawyer’s name is John Garner, so I sadly will no longer be referring to him as Elliot Weston. It’s okay, I’ll console myself by watching my Thirtysomething DVDs tomorrow.) Garner tells Ben that since he exposed the leak in the crime lab, all the evidence has to be retested. However, despite that happy fact, Ben is still sure to be arrested within the week, and unless he can remember details of that fateful night, they’ll have to take a plea bargain. Merry Christmas!
Finally frantic at the real possibility of being convicted of Tom’s murder, Ben rushes to Jess’ house to ask her if there’s anything she needs to tell him about that night. (Um, how ‘bout, “Hey, Jess, did I come over and take Tom for a walk?” or something along those lines?) Jess starts to tell him something about why she thinks Scott killed Tom, but then decides against it. Pretty sure this isn’t an instance when “never mind” is acceptable, but Ben lets her go.
Back at the house, Santa Dave arrives bearing gifts: a 12-pack and the flashlight. That’s right—THE flashlight, which Dave unearthed (like it would have been hard to find) after worrying that Christy was on to Ben. Wisely, the two decide that now is the perfect time to dispose of it, and take it to what I think is the factory where Kevin tortured Ben a couple of episodes ago and drop it down a stinky well. I’d ponder the stupidity of that as well as the certain repercussions that will come from it, but we have some serious flashbacking to get to, so discuss amongst yourselves in the comments section.
Against Christy’s wishes (and Dave’s sage advice), Ben goes to Michael’s to try to see the girls. Christy intercepts him in the yard and they have a typical he said/she said pre-divorce fight where they fling nasty accusations at each other (Christy: I will not have my parenting questioned by a man who until three weeks ago didn’t know how many children he had!) only to realize too late that Natalie and a very distraught Monkey are watching and listening to every word.
Once again back at Ben’s house, Ben comes to the sad realization that Christy is right; being a murder suspect isn’t going to look good to a family court judge. Telling Dave about his impending arrest, Ben reminds him (and us) for the 67th time that he can’t remember anything about that night after his giant fight with Christy. (Are you ready? Hold on, here we go.)
WAVY FLASHBACK LINES
Setting: Ben and Christy’s room
Scene: Christy asks Ben point blank if he ever cheated on her. Ben admits it happened once, but he didn’t mean it. Ben apologizes profusely. Christy refuses his apologies profusely. Christy throws him out.
RETURN TO PRESENT
Ben wonders what made Christy suddenly suspicious; the affair was six years prior. Dave reminds him of a neighborhood football game where he and Jess were flirty with each other, and then suddenly decides to drop a bomb on Ben and disclose a big, big secret.
WAVY FLASHBACK LINES
Setting: A dark, crowded bar
Scene: Dave and Ben are sitting at the end of the bar, clearly determined to get wasted, and reflecting on the good old days, “B.C.—Before Christy.” Ben is so distraught over his fight with Christy that when he walks away, Dave dissolves one of his own prescription pills in Ben’s drink to help ease his buddy’s pain.
RETURN TO PRESENT
Ben is furious to learn that Dave drugged him. Dave is profusely apologetic (yet doesn’t understand how that pill affected Ben so badly—“You’ve got the metabolism of a hummingbird!” Dave is my fave). He begs Ben’s forgiveness and admits it’s the worst decision he’s ever made in his life. (I’d beg to disagree by throwing in that whole “dug up a murder weapon and disposed of it” thing, but what do I know?) Does Ben throw him out? Punch him in the gut? Nope. He forgives him and they hug it out and decide to move on. Obviously.
NEXT: The tooth fairy didn’t do it