This is the week, friends, when the Green Meanie is finally unmasked! Of course, it’s not a complete answer to the mystery of who’s behind these hospital murders, but it’s at least one of the answers. Wink, wink! What better way is there to kick off an important and eye-opening episode than with a healthy competition?
Dr. Hawful, everyone’s favorite deadpanning physician, surprises the hospital staff with a friendly competition to bring everyone’s spirits up. Well, it should be stated Hawful has her own awful reasons for posing the blood sport. See, whoever can collect the most blood bags from donors will earn a getaway to Blood Island. This serves as the perfect guise for Hawful to finally ship Chanel and her lemmings off to Timbuktu, ridding her beloved hospital of the dirge she’s forced to work with every day. Let the games begin.
Chanel targets the blood of her own followers, not for the same slasher reasons of the Green Meanie, though. Chanel holds her own personal blood drive to win and to keep from having to donate too much of her own. Chanel #5 is an easy donor, as she currently can’t move much, so strapping her down and taking pint after pint serves as an easy task for Chanel. Of course, taking blood entirely from one person won’t serve Chanel’s hope for glory, so she turns to the latest addition: Chanel #9. She believes the newbie will have no problem offering up her crimson water, as #9 is an “emo” and “used to needles,” as Chanel puts it. Surprisingly for Chanel, though, #9 has an irrational fear of the sharp instrument and refuses to donate anything other than helpful advice.
Interestingly, Chanel isn’t the only one investing precious time in this competition. Munsch, taking the entire game far too seriously, swaps Chanel’s personal blood donation for one with too many problems to count. Munsch then breaks the heartbreaking news to the leader of the mean-girl gang that she has an STD…well, every STD, actually. How this is possible? No one seems to know, but Dr. Holt is immediately turned off from ever wanting to be intimate with Chanel again. Munsch not only earns back the chance to be with Holt, but she also announces Chanel’s rancid blood will no longer be used in the competition. Dr. Hawful clearly shows her glee in knowing Chanel is suffering from a great deal of the nasty, but she isn’t completely on Munsch’s side when it comes to taking Chanel out of the contest. In a prolonged and strange reaction scene, Munsch charges down the hall in slow motion to rip the progress bars from Chanel’s area on the chart. Chanel follows closely behind, but isn’t prepared for an epic fight from Munsch.
Everyone tries to use this contest to their advantage, even the mature and wise Zayday Williams. Visiting the supposed mother of the Green Meanie, she tries to get a blood sample in order to learn baby’s blood type so she can cross-reference it with the entire hospital staff. This could not only rule out her new buddy Chamberlain, but also provide a real list of suspects. Chamberlain is already privy to this and maintains his innocence throughout, even telling Zayday he knows they can figure out who the real baby is if they work together. Zayday sticks to her gut and keeps her distance, apologizing to her friend for taking the safe road.
NEXT: The killer is revealed!