Hospital Halloween Massacre was the backdrop of this entire killing spree, and this week, we finally get more answers as to whom this new killer could possibly be. Of course, there are plenty of jokes that don’t land properly mixed in, but stay tuned for the tragic passing of a major character. Off we go, back to the latest murder of poor, wart-covered Tyler.
Chanel jumps from her sudden realization that a serial killer is on the loose to blaming the entire situation on #5. Before a complete argument can unravel, Munsch enters to take care of business. Working together, the ladies wheel Tyler’s lasered body to the swamp behind the hospital. Very Norman Bates in Psycho, eh? And wasn’t there a body back in the day that was dumped into the ominous swamp? Hmm, this mystery is coming together perhaps.
In one of the more gruesome scenes we’ve had, Chad’s medically jumpy friend is seemingly cured of his strange illness that would send him into fits of tears upon hearing even the smallest sound. As he celebrates his fresh outlook on life, the elevator pops open, with our wonderful new green killer slowly stalking toward his new victim. It wouldn’t be Scream Queens without this kill taking on a goofy quality, and as the Green Devil slices his way through the man’s chest, the victim just says how much it hurts. Duh. It looks like he was only able to enjoy his cure for a minute or two!
Back with the body disposal gang, they meet with Hester to get any information they can on the killer. Hester Lecter doesn’t give any new information on the possible identity of the green ghoul, but her demands get a little more complicated. Munsch isn’t having it though, so instead of trying to figure out the best course of action to appease the psycho, she throws up a copy of A Room With a View on VHS to semi give her what she wants. For some reason, Munsch receives a text from Chad and thinks that he can actually offer something worth hearing. Of course, all he shares is his fear of Dr. Holt’s serial killer hand. Oh right, in case you forgot, Holt’s hand is actually a donor hand from one of the country’s most notorious serial killers. While this is a pretty clear sign that there’s something to look out for with the hunky doctor, everyone seems too hung up on whose sperm is better. Munsch clears this all up, stating Chad was the worst lay she ever had, so that at least shuts down Radwell’s ego for about two minutes.
Since this is a hospital and all, the gang gets a new patient, played in a random but welcome cameo by Cheri Oteri. Now, so far this season has been about odd medical marvels, like the wolf hair syndrome and the uncontrollable urge to scream at lava lamps, but miss Oteri’s problem, persistent genital arousal disorder, causes her to have several orgasms within minutes. She says her husband left her after realizing she had been faking orgasms their entire marriage.
Speaking of actual odd afflictions, Dr. Cascade decides that he can finally open up to #3 about his real reason for practicing medicine. We all know he’s perpetually cold, and apparently this is because he’s dead. Really. Back in college, the budding doctor got a little too wasted, passed out on his bed, and made the mistake of not sleeping on his side in case he vomited in the middle of the night. When he woke up the next morning, there was a clear sign that he had thrown up (chunks all over the boys face) and his pulse had stopped. Ever since, he can’t get warm and dogs don’t bark at him anymore. Of course, #3 is barely fazed by this and instead provides a warm embrace. Perhaps this weirdo will be the one to cure the dead doctor’s strange disease.
NEXT: The Green Devil takes a popular victim
Chad and Holt meet in the showers, yet again, and while dialogue is exchanged, it mostly comes down to whose penis is bigger. This is Fox, so we don’t get to see either of them to give our own opinion, but it’s safe to say that there was a tie.
Instead of talking more to the competing studs, Munsch, her Chanel nurses, Zayday, and Detective Hemphill visit the only living witness of the Halloween Hospital Massacre from the ‘80s. The owner of a lotion company, the survivor shares that on the night of the original murders, the hospital offered him a $5 million settlement to not say a word. We learn a tad more about the man that Jerry O’Connell dumped in the swamp in the first episode as well. He was the husband of a pregnant woman admitted to the hospital, and after he never awoke from an accident, the doctor’s decided to dump his body in the water. They also glean from this that the killer could be the baby now grown up, which would make him/her around 30. This rules out Dr. Holt and a majority of the staff, but Munsch points out that the one and only Chad Radwell fits right into that age range. Not to mention, he fits nicely into the 6-foot tall description of the killer.
Chad feels panicked at this news, not because he’s worried about getting arrested, but that he will lose Chanel to Dr. Holt. Whether his intentions to be with Chanel are pure or just a mode of competition are unclear. Well, that is until he makes a surprise proposal to Chanel in the park. Getting on one knee, the dunderheaded dude pulls out a lengthy prenup for Chanel to sign, and while this would ruin anyone else’s excitement, Chanel grows a stronger love for her longtime crush. Not far off in the distance is Dr. Holt, giving a smoldering and threatening look to Chad.
Chanel and Chad get their wedding plans set in stone, and speaking of rocks, the ring that Chanel gets is so intense that it has its own wi-fi hot spot and a lo-jack system. In a surprising twist, Chad looks to Holt to be his best man. The doctor seems to want to strangle Chad for even asking, but instead, he accepts and ties the new grooms bow tie extra tight for him. Over in the bridal camp, Chanel asks #3 and Zayday to act as her bridesmaids, leaving #5 to be the ringbearer dressed like a dog. Wonderful.
Cheri Oteri, recently healed, shares with Zayday and Chamberlain that she already alerted the media on how great the CURE program was. Before she can actually leave the building though, the Green Devil chucks a scythe down the hallway, decapitating her and cutting into Chamberlain. Zayday, being the badass she is, doesn’t run or step down — she stands up to the killer. In what seems like her final moments, the killer surprisingly spares Zayday, once again, adding confusion into the mix.
The story jumps right from the untimely death of poor Cheri Oteri to Chanel and Chad’s rushed wedding. All seems to be perfect, well, that is until a pool of blood forms in the stained glass window above the altar. Before anyone can fully comprehend what’s happening, a body crashes onto the floor, nearly crushing Chanel. The victim is none other than the main suspect, Chad Radwell. Chanel screams, as we all do, taking us back to square one with where to look next for answers. We do know the approximate age of the killer and he/she seems to have affection for Zayday, but other than that, it could be any number of people.
Join us next week to see how Chanel handles the death of her shotgun husband and if any more major characters bite the dust.