Well, well, well… It just goes to show you can’t count a Chanel out even when it seems like they’re donezo. When we last saw #5, she was waiting to be decapitated by the Green Devil, but this week kicks things by revealing that she managed to escape that trap and live to see another day.
Unlike the buildup from the premiere, the Green Devil is going for his darlings this week, with his first target being none other than the leader of the Kappa Kappas. All alone and bored in the hospital receptionist area, Chanel is restless while waiting for the night shift to end. Unbeknownst to her, the sassy diva is not alone, and suddenly the Red Devil appears. Chanel runs for her life from last season’s killer, but this being a new season, the Red Devil proves to pose a new non-murderous threat. Underneath the blood-hued mask is every Kappa Kappa’s favorite idiot, Chad Radwell (Glen Powell). “I want you back,” he says, which forces a sly smile on Chanel’s shocked but pleased face.
So why did the king of frats return to the embrace of the lead Chanel? Well, Chad’s friend, Randall, seems to be suffering from a threat that causes him to scream uncontrollably, which Dr. Holt diagnoses as “Jumping Frenchmen of Maine” disease. Chad quickly realizes Holt is just as dreamy as he is (if not more so), forcing him to fight harder for Chanel’s attention. Also working through a problem is Tyler (Colton Haynes) and his wart face. We don’t exactly know how he contracted this bizarre disease, but with Chanel #5 on the case to find him a cure, it might be possible for him to be normal again. Chanel and #3 try to warn her that if Tyler regains his good looks, she might not have his attention anymore…but she pushes forward to help him anyway.
Striking up a new friendship, Zayday and Chamberlain investigate the 1980s Halloween Massacre in the hospital, during which we’re treated to a bloody blast from the past. Amidst the ‘80s nostalgia and homemade costumes, the Green Devil takes his revenge on various hospital staff, including the two who seemingly left him for dead in the swamp (remember last week’s opening scene?). Unfortunately, the entire hospital staff is murdered and nothing more about the Green Devil is learned from looking back into the darkness. Searching for more answers, Zayday and Chamberlain seek insight from Munsch and her hospital knowledge.
Munsch reveals her real reason behind the new medical program: finding a cure for herself. Suffering from achy joints that can’t be helped with a simple course of Boniva, the former dean is unsure of what’s causing her so much physical turmoil. “I started it to find out what this disease was before it kills me,” she says as she falls into Zayday’s embrace. Feeling cared for, Munsch decide to pace the halls, and in a reference to Jamie Lee Curtis’ role in Halloween II, all of the hallways are pitch-black without another soul in sight. Suddenly, the Green Devil appears out of nowhere to take a new victim, but Munsch isn’t going down without a fight. She manages to push the masked killer to the ground, but just as she’s about to unmask them, Chanel #3 and Cascade enter to distract her. By the time she’s able to turn her attention back to the killer, the slime-covered ghoul is gone, sending Munsch into a fit of rage.
NEXT: Holt and Chad take it all off and hit the showers (no joke)
On a completely different note, we’re treated to an extended nude shower scene between Holt and Chad. As the curtains fly open and closed, Chad soaps himself up and shows off his body to Holt, attempting to induce jealousy in the cute doctor. While nothing is really gained from this scene — other than the pleasing aesthetic of watching two fresh-smelling, handsome men get their clean on — it wasn’t exactly unbearable to sit through. Amiright?
Back to the murders at hand. Det. Denise Hemphill shares her Quantico training with Munsch, revealing that interviewing a killer is key to understanding the mind of one. Thankfully, the entire hospital crew knows a killer more than willing to talk business. Walking down a hallway that can only signify terror and murder, Chanel, #3, Hemphill, and Munsch make their way to a glass-encased prisoner holding another blast from the past. Hester (Lea Michele) awaits their arrival, complete with coveralls that look straight out of the Michael Myers and Hannibal Lecter collections. Hester seems completely unfazed by a new killer terrorizing the hospital, even describing the look and late-night calling card of the new devil. She teases in her own crazy words that she knows who the killer is, but she demands an immense amount of facial-cream products in return. Hemphill offers chapstick instead, but that doesn’t please the sadistic sorority sister. She demands she be moved to the hospital to be close with her old “friends,” but whether her wish is granted remains to be seen.
While the former psycho seems to be under control — at least for the time being — the mystery behind Holt’s sewn-on hand gets a little more nefarious. Hiring a private investigator, Chad learns Holt’s new appendage belonged to a notorious serial killer who preyed on fellow squash players. This revelation causes Chad to see the truth behind Holt’s athletic ability and why his hand will occasionally reach out as if to cause harm. With hands so volatile, it’s a wonder how the handsome doctor can keep himself from harming those who even slightly annoy him. This is bad news for Chad, who realizes Chad presents more of an adversary than he originally thought.
Poor Tyler and his warts get the good news that a laser procedure can bring him back to his former self! Now that #5 and her new beau are good as gold, the idea of him turning back into a hot guy doesn’t scare her much. Talking over FaceTime, #5 and Tyler confess their love for one another — but before they can get too mushy, a mystery doctor enters Tyler’s room to wheel him away for surgery. Knowing better than to trust said doc, #5 rushes to the hospital, only to discover that Tyler has been lasered to death by…a laser. It seems happiness isn’t in the cards for #5, but Chanel brings the focus back to the entire group by stating, “I think we have another serial killer on our hands.”
You think so, Chanel? It took you this long to come to that conclusion? At this rate, we might not know anything about the new killer anytime soon, but at least we have Miss Zayday Williams to do our investigating. Until next week!