“Toby or Not Toby?” That is the biggest Scorpion question tonight.
Throughout the season, we’ve seen the focus shared a little bit more. It’s not just Walter’s story, and if season 2 has really gotten one thing right, it’s helping to tell the stories of each character. But of all of those stories, it seems that Dr. Tobias Curtis’ has been one of the most complicated. After a season of near-death and silly jokes, it’s Toby who has risen up to commit to Happy, give up his gambling, and buy an engagement ring for her. But that’s where we left off last week, when Mark Collins returned to knock Toby out, stuff him in a van, and take him to a warehouse, so I’ll ask again: Toby, or not Toby? This week, I hope the answer is “not Toby,” because otherwise, he might just end up dead.
We start up the finale seeing that Toby has been all tied up in a warehouse. Collins tells him to drink up because it’s going to be a long day. But of course, back in the warehouse, it’s just your every day jazz fest with Shadow Cabe and Paige. That’s what happens when you give your pseudo-girlfriend and her gentleman friend tickets to the jazz festival that you actually wanted to invite her to… WALTER.
But the situation shifts pretty quickly when Happy and the team realize that Toby never showed up for work. The first conclusion that Happy jumps to is that he’s back on a gambling bender. But when Cabe rejoins the group, he lets them know that Mark Collins has broken out of the asylum and is on the loose. Happy and Walter can’t help but think that Toby’s disappearance can’t be a coincidence. What’s tricky is that Sly knew where he was going the night before (because of the ring), but he doesn’t want to reveal because, you know, surprise engagements are surprise for a reason y’all.
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Meanwhile, in a warehouse, Mark Collins and Toby are still hanging out like bros do. But instead of a nice game on the Xbox, we finally find out why Collins has taken Toby and gone nuts — he found out that Megan died (RIP, girl), and he figured Walter must have worked on brain freezing technology, so he’s going to leverage Toby for it. The gang ends up back at the parking garage where Toby was kidnapped, and that’s where they find his phone. Almost immediately, Collins manages to wire Toby’s phone that he left behind to call them. And then he explains that he has Toby tied to a metal chair, connected to a battery, and he’s not afraid to fry the doctor if he doesn’t get Walter’s research.
Walter doesn’t want to turn it over because if Collins combines his information with Walter’s, he can create mind-reading capabilities that, for obvious reasons, would be a huge problem. Happy, Paige, and Shadow Cabe are sent to Millcrest Psychiatric Hospital to do as much research as possible and break his plan apart. They find that he created a signal booster to gain Internet access while he was there. That signal is used to transmit his crazy radio plan that has helped him communicate with Scorpion thus far. Shadow Cabe goes to the hospital kitchen, somehow uses his basic Jason Street knowledge to deduce that Collins documented his entire plan to transmit radio signals anonymously in oil on a metal table (because, why not?), and sends it back to Walter and Sly, but the team isn’t working fast enough because Collins jumps in and shocks Toby for the first time, and guys, Toby screams are NOT very fun at all.
NEXT: Surprises are no fun if you ruin them
Happy hops in to tell Collins to stop, and Collins hangs up after demanding the research. But it turns out that he’s not tortured at all — he was playing the screams for show. But he tells Toby that he will die today, just not at his hands. I don’t like that foreshadowing. The team also figures out that Toby’s not being tortured, and from there, they continue to work on where Collins is transmitting his cell signal from. As the team pulls up to a farm, a man starts firing at Happy, Shadow Cabe, and Paige. Armstrong protects Paige, but Happy goes full badass and tackles the guy and steals his gun because don’t mess with a woman’s man, am I right? Meanwhile, at a cell tower, Walter has climbed to the top with Sly’s “keytar” that he’s going to use to “silence the transmissions” and figure out where Collins’ transmission is coming from, but while on the phone with the team, Paige’s poor use of phrasing when referencing how Shadow Cabe “laid” on her, causes Walter to drop the keytar. But that’s the least of their worries.
Back at the warehouse, Collins is making homemade acid and pulling out floss. Unfortunately, it’s not for hygiene sake. Toby starts to try and break him down mentally, but ultimately, it’s Collins that gets the upper hand when he goes through Toby’s stuff and finds the engagement ring that he was planning on proposing to Happy with. Collins calls the team back and reveals that he has “Happy’s fiancé.” She slams the breaks on the car she’s driving, not giving an actual answer, and immediately blames herself for Toby’s kidnapping.
Back at the top of the tower, Walter and Toby have to use their phone to play the same song across all stations to “quiet” the signal and figure out where Collins is transmitting from. In a classic Cabe move, he only has Conway Twitty. OH CABE. They identify the tower, but Collins is still hard at work in the warehouse. Remember all that dental floss? He’s stringing it up everywhere. In an attempt to stop him, Toby kicks a book and knocks over a bottle of ammonia, which really ticks Collins off. Toby begs to call Happy one more time, but Collins tells him that he has to admit that Collins is smarter than Walter and that he’s won. Toby agrees and says it, and Collins looks like he’s never been more pleased. Toby goes through the group and begins to say his goodbyes. He tells Happy that he loves her and that he always will and then after a long pause tells Sly to take care of Happy. In that pause, Sly listens and is able to figure out where Toby and Collins are.
They arrive at the warehouses and split up to try and find Happy. Collins has set up an intricate floss system though, which if tripped, will pour acid all over Toby, killing him. Happy and Sly find Toby pretty quickly, but the floss has already been shaved down above his head, and Toby doesn’t have much time until it breaks. Shadow Cabe and Paige show up, but Walter is busy chasing Collins. After he finds him, it doesn’t take much to stop him. Walter takes him down with a pipe because Walter is LIT, y’all. But guess what Collins uses against Walter? His EMOTIONS. He says that Walter will eventually let him go because he has to save Toby, and then he asserts his dominance as all powerful men do — by comparing himself to a wolf spider, who lives alone. But Walter is civilized now, so he leaves to go save Toby.
They work together and determine that the floss is like guitar strings and that all of them that make the same note can be cut. Who’s in charge of identifying the notes? Our resident Jimmy Page — Shadow Cabe. I’m initially shocked that it’s not the more predictable songbird, Katharine McPhee, but let’s be honest: would you want someone determining the notes of your dental floss of death if they’d been in the American Idol bottom two not just once, but TWICE? (Just kidding — we all know I got the McPheever and that Paige is my main girl. You were robbed, sister.) But as the team gets closer, the jar of acid starts to shift and Toby admits that he does have a ring and that he loves Happy, and in her own way, she answers his not-proposal by running into the floss to pull him out of the way, risking her own life. They both survive, he calls her a keeper, and I stress vomit because I don’t want to recap a world that #Quintis isn’t in. Again, I repeat — I’m not crying… this is just genius sweat coming directly from my eyes. Safe and sound, the group returns to go back for Collins.
NEXT: The problem with brother husbands
Somehow, Collins has managed to sneak on a bus, but Shadow Cabe infiltrates the bus and cuffs Collins. Super chill about being caught, Collins asks how Walter found him. He gets a dose of the weapon he uses against Walter. Walter channeled his humanity and figures out that Collins was headed to South Carolina because it was the one place that still meant something to him and made him happy. TAKE THAT CHILDHOOD PSYCHOLOGY.
Back at the warehouse, Paige and Shadow Cabe are packing to go to the jazz fest, and Paige starts to have doubts. And I get it. On the surface, Paige and Armstrong are perfect, but the execution is just super off, like when Katharine McPhee appeared on Randy Jackson’s Music Club, Vol. 1 back in 2008. But let’s be honest, we didn’t come here for Paige and Shadow Cabe. We came for #Quintis. Toby pulls Happy aside and she tells him not to ask her a question, so he respects her wishes and doesn’t ask her a question — he sings her the cheesiest, Toby-est song ever about how he loves her, but it’s adorable. After he finishes, he gets down on one knee and asks Happy to marry him to which she says, “no.” Why? Because she’s married to someone else. Now I am crying because Walter proved it himself: Emotions are okay.
Devastated, Toby retreats and asks no one to bother him as Happy leaves the warehouse. Shadow Cabe, super awkwardly asks Paige to get ready to go. Walter blames himself for letting their relationship continue and how the fallout will tear the team apart. Then he goes off on a hypothetical situation that mirrors his and Paige’s, but he backs away when Paige pushes him about it. Paige gives him a clear chance to ask her to stay because, as Paige says, “It’s a mess.” But Walter doesn’t fight her — he says it’s best if she goes, and so she does.
Talking to Walter after she leaves, Toby starts to yell at him and tells him that he’s letting the love of his life walk away out of stubbornness. Toby goes on, telling Walter that he just let her walk out the door with another man. It’s enough to trigger Walter to pull himself together and admit that he loves Paige. He grabs his keys and tries to stop her. He calls her phone, but she won’t answer, so it seems that Walter is following Shadow Cabe and Paige off to Lake Tahoe.
Paige’s SUPERSIZED FINALE Feel Board
- “I’m not waiting here like a damsel.” —Happy, having her BEST episode of the entire series. I thought this was going to be Toby’s show, but honestly guys…
- “The Dolphin Trainer’s Daughter?” —Collins
“Some of the prose is very sharp.”- Toby
- “Two things that won’t help: self-hatred and booze. Tonight will have both, but don’t make either a habit.” —Cabe, breaking everyone’s collective #Quintis-loving heart
- Shadow Cabe, as Toby put it, was the best version of his “big, sexy, muscled Navy SEAL” self tonight, but man was he a pain in the butt.
- I do not for the life of me understand why Paige puts emotional decision making in Walter’s hands.
- How much do you want to bet that Armstrong and Paige’s car crashes? I KNOW, I’M SORRY.
- Did you see how heartbroken Happy was? I know she’s kind of in hot water, but I just can’t be mad at her right now.
And that’s it, you crazy geniuses. Speaking as a Paige/new-Walter, I’m completely exhausted. Who do you think Happy is married to? Can Quintis rebound from this? Do you agree with/hate me for that car crash theory at the beginning of season 3? And how much do you bet that we haven’t seen the last of Collins? We have a whole summer to think about it. It’s been an honor being at the helm of this crazy Scorpion ship with you, using my common man’s IQ for a thinking man’s show, and making as many Katharine McPhee references as possible. Remember to check your emotions at the door, divorce any longstanding/forgotten spouses, and we’ll pick up where we left off in the fall.