Antarctica has given us a handful of wonderful things: Happy Feet, March of the Penguins, and Morgan Freeman’s voiceover in March of the Penguin. Other than that, Antarctica hasn’t given us much to cheer about, which is why it’s natural to worry about Team Scorpion as they head way down south this week to save a United States Special Forces unit in need of a satellite repair. But it’s more complicated than that — let’s discuss:
The team is hanging out in the warehouse discussing New Year’s resolutions. Happy is using Quincy Berkstead’s (you remember Quincy — the guy who stole Toby’s fiancée) book, which teaches how to be more positive. Megan told Walter to be more open to relationships, so somehow he takes that on the more…social level and familiarizes himself with the Kardashians. Like, the literal Kardashians. Because if anyone knows how to be social, it’s the woman who named her child Saint. Paige tries to get Walter to work with Ralph on getting his scout badge for knots, but Walter is convinced those aren’t necessary. Kardashians… No use for knots… Oh, Walter.
But let’s back up to the Special Forces squad in Africa. The details of why they’re there are pretty vague, but the most important part is that they’re in trouble, and there’s only one crew that can save them: #TeamScorpion. And that’s where Katherine Cooper comes in! The Pentagon has lost contact with the squad because their feed is broken and isn’t able to transmit a signal.
The team realizes that the best chance of resetting the signal is to catch the satellite as it glides over Antarctica past a station. Sylvester and Paige get to stay behind, but Cabe, Walter, Happy, and Toby jump onto the world’s least favorite continent to fix the satellite.
As the team sets the antenna up inside the tent, the winter storm outside picks up intensity, getting in the way of the signal. Ultimately, they decide they have to go out into the storm and move the satellite to higher ground. Toby makes everyone eat a protein bar to build up calories, which is the first time I’ve ever felt capable of doing something Scorpion has done. As for the whole “getting to the high point in a blizzard and assembling an antenna to transmit a high-end satellite” part? Not so much.
Scorpion manages to get it up, though, and the satellite works long enough for Agent Decker, a man who is practically Lieut. Dan from Forrest Gump, to update Paige, Sly, and Ralph on the situation. The Africa squad is worrying about their lack of time, so Ralph devises a plan that will make their attackers believe there are more soldiers than just the small squad. The squad takes the advice because when Ralph gives you instructions, you best listen.
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Meanwhile, back in Antarctica, ice blocks fell on the team from a rock formation. No one was hurt, but as the team pull themselves up, Toby realizes from the slack in the rope to Happy has been detatched. From afar, the team can hear Happy’s cries, but the wind and snow distort them. Cabe and Walter argue that Toby can’t go on search for her, but Toby asks Walter if he would leave Paige if she were out there. With that, he disappears into the blizzard.
Meanwhile, Happy drops through a snow bank into a giant winter cave. It gives her a break outside of the blustery winds and the low visibility, but she’s still out of sight and in the frigid cold. Toby, on the search for Happy, loses his communication device, as well, and once it breaks, he finds himself in a position he never thought he would be in: praying to God. But instead of asking for help, he asks God to take his soul and not Happy’s.
NEXT: Sugar, we’re goin’ down swingin’
While Happy and the team are in trouble, Ralph has literally taken over the entire mission/become best friends with Agent Decker. He sends him a Fall Out Boy song (“Sugar, We’re Goin Down,” naturally) and helps him record a message for his family in the case that he doesn’t make it. Agent Decker tells Ralph to turn off his video, but Ralph argues that Scorpion can save him. Decker thanks Ralph and the video fades.
Overcome with emotion, Paige loses her mind on Homeland and demands they send a rescue party for the team, and that’s when Katherine Cooper calls in a threat (see “Paige’s Feel Board”) and gets results.
Back at the rock formation, Walter and Cabe get the satellite up and transmitting signal, but Happy and Toby are still out in the storm. Toby finds her, but it may be too late because by the time he gets there, she’s unresponsive and practically blue. Toby finds a light pulse and keeps talking to her to keep her brain active. He wraps them up in a blanket and tells her that they have to get naked so that he can transfer what little body heat he has over to her.
The Revised Execution
While the rest of the team works to save them, Toby whispers to the unconscious Happy that they’re not going to make it, but he never thought he’d be so lucky to go out like this. As they both continue to fade, the team builds a listening machine that uses ice to amplify noises and vibrations. They’re able to find what sounds like a heartbeat, but sadly, it’s only one.
After Cabe and Walter find Toby and Happy’s location, they make it to the snow cave. When Walter drops his pack into the cave, Toby wakes up and checks Happy’s pulse. He slowly holds up his frost bitten thumb. Walter drops down a bag of warm air, which awakens Happy. When trying to figure out how to get Happy and Toby out of the cave, Paige suggests they tie a figure-eight knot — the same kind of knot that Walter refused to help Ralph study for at the beginning of the episode. Paige hasn’t been this crucial since Rebecca Duvall choked on a handful of peanuts.
Paige tells Ralph that all of their friends are safe, but Ralph disagrees. Suddenly the screen flickers back on, and Agent Decker appears and tells Ralph that once he gets out of there, he and his wife may be naming their new son after Ralph. Ralph, though emotionally muted, looks pretty pleased.
After the team gets back, Happy’s dad arrives with a video of him and Happy’s mom dancing while she was pregnant with Happy. She admits that she’s never been as carefree as they were in that video and that she longs to be more like that. Her dad tells her that she just needs to find what makes her that happy — as he gets up to leave, Happy looks on as Toby jokes around with Ralph. Meanwhile, Cabe tells Toby that the reason that they only heard one heartbeat instead of two might have been because his and Happy’s hearts were beating in sync, like two people in love.
To celebrate that everyone made it out of the craziest snow storm ever, Paige builds a campfire on the roof for everyone. Happy invites Toby into her tent, and then all those crazy geniuses end the night in a snowball fight using snow from Antarctica that Walter brought back because there’s no souvenir like the very thing that nearly killed you and all of your friends.
Paige’s Feel Board
- We need to have a conversation about how Katherine Cooper called someone in the U.S. government and threatened to reveal that he was responsible for his family cat’s disappearance. And it worked.
- Scorpion has been getting emotional like WHOA. That sleeping bag scene between Happy and Toby was heartbreaking.
- It makes me happy that a decade later, people are still sending Fall Out Boy songs to convey a mood.