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My favorite reality competition show of all time — yes, I think I love it even more than The Celebrity Mole — has reached an incredible milestone. And Ru won’t let us forget it. That’s right, the eighth season premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race marks the 100th episode in the landmark series’ run. Let’s think back on the show’s incredible history. So many unforgettable queens. So many barriers broken. So many filthy puns. So many Werk Room fights. So many miles of hairy tuck-tape. So many Shangela appearances — hallelu!
I’m expecting this very special season to be mind-blowing and so, so, so much better than that-which-shall-not-be-mentioned, a.k.a. season 7. Judging from this new crop of queens, I remain hopeful that that will be the case. So let’s get right into the first-day intros, which have become one of my favorite parts of the show.
First up was Naomi Smalls, who lived up to her name — she might challenge Violet for the distinction of having the tiniest waist in RPDR history. We’ll see a lot of her little body, though, because she likes showing off her legs, which she said reach all the way “up to her “a–hole.” (Isn’t that true of anyone with no butt?) Cynthia Lee Fontaine is a blast of energy, but she’s giving me a headache, and she didn’t show up alone. She brought along her “cucu,” which she refers to quite often, yet I don’t quite know what it is. (Is it anything like Ornacia?) Next came Dax Exclamation Point, a real cosplay nerd who served up some X-Men/Storm realness and looked like she belongs on the floor of San Diego Comic-Con. Naysha Lopez arrived looking very pretty but slightly basic, like a fishier, more stylish Snooki.
The first queen to really own the room, though, was Acid Betty, a super-scary specter rocking an almost shaved head and bright-bright colors that burned the retinas. She also didn’t give a f— that aerosol spray is terrible for the environment. Acid bragged that even Bianca del Rio wouldn’t f— with her because she’s a straight-up bitch. As the late great Maya Angelou once told Oprah, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Acid, I believe what you’ve told us about yourself, and I will approach with caution.
There were two bitches in a row, though, because next came Robbie Turner, who swanned into the Werk Room in a flowy robe that was very Meryl Streep in Death Becomes Her. I hate to judge so early (just kidding), but right now Robbie gets the biggest eye-roll of the century from me. I can tell she’s going to be one of the primary talking heads this season, not because she’s that clever but because she’s so hateful. Acid threw her some immediate shade by saying without any prompting, “You don’t look old.” Which means she thinks you look kinda old. Robbie just got an Acid burn.
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I have to admit something up front: I’m going to be biased already and proclaim Kim Chi as my favorite of the season, partly (or mostly) because she’s a fellow Korean. I love her hilarious, shy sense of humor, and the fact that she said, “Donut come for me because I will destroy you” and just happened to have a green donut hidden in her cooch. Kim Chi, I love you more than the food, which I’ve always found kind of hit-or-miss (that’s Korean blasphemy).
Next up, Thorgy Thor, who reminded me of a cross between Weird Al and an off-brand Muppet. Then came Bob the Drag Queen, who I can tell will be a big contender this season — she’s funny as hell. She showed up in a black and white leo and immediately began breaststroking on a table and joined up with her fellow New York queens, Acid and Thorgy.
NEXT: Meet the final queens