Maybe I’m just on an RPDR high because it’s still so early in the season, but this episode had EVERYTHING. The Pitch Perfect-themed challenge was incredibly energized and brought some big talents to the forefront; battle lines were drawn; the queens got REAL about their backstories; my Fierce List of queen rankings was turned upside down; and it even ended on a massive cliffhanger, and I’m not just talking about Naomi Smalls’ big toe.
At the beginning of the episode, gorgeous Naysha’s elimination left the queens with a big reality check — yep, people are really going to be eliminated! And perhaps faster than they expected (see more at the end of this recap). RuPaul went a little basic but fun for the Mini Challenge this week, which was just a spicy Latin-style dance circle with cha-cha heels and outfits from Out of the Closet thrift store (delivered by the Pit Crew!) and music by AB Soto. It was really just a chance for Ru to see how the queens moved. Let’s just say some results were more promising than others.
All the queens really went for it: Acid Betty, as expected, totally committed; Cynthia Lee Fontaine’s heels came alive; Naomi Smalls did one of the messiest death drops I’ve ever seen; Chi Chi DeVayne did a slightly less messy one; and Thorgy went into bizarre convulsions and exposed her hairy, hairy-ass legs.
Of course, it didn’t come as a shock to anyone who witnessed her Sasquatch walk last week that Kim Chi proved not be a great dancer. Perhaps even the worst dancer in RPDR history. She arhythmically whirled her arms in circles while looking confused and dropping accessories all over the place. Poor Kim Chi. Many Koreans excel at dancing — check out all the break-dancers and girl groups with perfectly synchronized choreo — but others, myself included, have too little rhythm and too much built-in shame to just let it go. This could be Kim Chi’s downfall.
Unluckily for her, the Maxi Challenge this week would be an ALL-DANCING EXTRAVAGANZA!! The winners of the Mini Challenge, Cynthia Lee Fontaine and Chi Chi DeVayne, got the chance to choose their teams (Team Lady Bitches and Team Shady Bitches) for a drag-apella movie called Bitch Perfect, which would be choreographed by Jamal Sims, the man who taught Miley her moves and caused Ginger Minj to flood her basement. Guess what? Kim Chi was chosen last for a team… Surprise!
Team Shady Bitches lived up to its name as Chi Chi and Acid locked unicorn-horns immediately. Thorgy initially sided against her New York “sister,” saying, “Acid Betty is an a–hole, and she knows it!” She continued to say that no one in New York wants to work with Acid because she’s so demanding. Chi Chi wasn’t being much better, accusing her team of not knowing how to dance (even though they collectively had more rhythm than the Lady Bitches without Kim Chi and Laila dragging them off beat) and quashing Thorgy’s efforts to add some comedy into their routine. Acid, trying to make the point that Chi Chi wasn’t listening to her, did a Charlie Brown’s teacher impression for a while, which was a high point in Werk Room maturity. When Ru walked into the room, the cattiness on Team Shady only ramped up, with Chi Chi saying that she refused to be a tyrant — she’d leave that up to Acid Betty.
The teams struggled even more when they rehearsed in front of Jamal. On Team Lady Bitches, Kim Chi was exactly out of sync and couldn’t even do a simple two-step move — but to be fair to her, Laila wasn’t much better. When Jamal had the two of them try the choreography on their own, Kim Chi fell down for absolutely no reason, other than the fact that she can’t walk in heels…which is probably the most basic requisite skill for RPDR. Upon seeing the dancing disaster, Cynthia said, “My heart falls to my cucu!” BOOM. We got our cucu mention for the evening — we can all go home happy.
NEXT: A Pitch Perfect runway