Wow. America is gagging right now. I’m gagging right now. If Ornacia had an esophageal sphincter, she’d also be gagging right now. Not just about the twist—check out the EW Exclusive in which the eliminated kweens sound off on why they should be the one come back—but the crazy-ass elimination! I wouldn’t say it was unfair, exactly. It’s hard to say if a frontrunner has crashed and burned in such spectacular fashion before. But seriously, this season is getting kind of delicious, and just in time for Snatch Game!
As any good Drag Race fan knows, these girls pack and prepare ahead of time for certain challenges, including Snatch Game, so it’s not that easy to switch characters at the last minute. (However, a true drag superstar would have packed backup costumes to her backup costumes in the event of a glitter drought or global sequin shortage). Luckily, knowing how inconvenient it would be, Ru came to the Werk Room to stir the pot—as Violet quipped, “RuPaul, do you want a spoon?” Ru quickly dismantled plans and even some kweens’ sense of self without even breaking a sweat, although I don’t think Ru sweats anymore since she became a deity in 2008.
First, Ru put a kink in Miss Fame and Violet’s newfound BFF status. They had both been planning on doing Donatella Versace, but Miss Fame had generously offered to switch to the Long Island Medium until Ru planted a few evil seeds in her ear: “Go for the jugular. … Being kind is one thing, but being the winner is a completely different thing.” Miss Fame immediately went back to Donatella—even though the Long Island Medium could have been the better choice—and Violet was left to scramble. She settled on Alyssa Edwards, but I don’t believe for a second that Violet hadn’t planned that weeks in advance.
Other kweens were a little more stalwart with their choices. Kennedy Davenport faced ridicule for her choice to do Little Richard, a celebrity who doesn’t have a snatch (that we know of), but she stayed firm. Katya chose Suze Orman, and Ru tried to guilt her into doing a Russian character, which sent Katya into a tailspin of insecurity. Katya explained that she was terrified of doing the Russian character because it’s the thing she does best, to which Ru responded, “You are addicted to the anxiety.” Way to cut to the core of a person, Ru! Then Katya confessed that she had been addicted to alcohol, crystal meth, and cocaine. (Crystal meth??? Whoa.) Later in the episode, Katya pulled Miss Fame, the only other sober girl, and had a heart-to-heart. It was a full-on nervous mini-breakdown but a really nice moment nevertheless, as Katya admitted that the show was bringing up every insecurity she had. To Miss Fame’s great credit, she wrapped Katya in a hug while cooing, “You are love. You are loved”—and she brought the moment back to herself, but only a little bit. Progress!
Sidenote: How many times can Ru do the “LaGuardia, Newark, Kennedy” joke? I know she repeated a similar joke when Milan was on the show, but I counted five instances in this episode alone, and I’m willing to bet she’s done it every week thus far without fail. Not that I’m complaining—I laugh every time.
Let the Snatch Games begin! And may the shade be ever full of flavor! (I’m so ridiculously, embarrassingly proud of that one).
Tamar Braxton and the adorable Michael Urie, who was brilliant in Buyer & Cellar, were on hand to be the Snatch Game contestants and later to guest-judge, and they were both delightful additions to the proceedings, knowing when to laugh exaggeratedly and when to stay viciously silent.
Katya had nothing to worry about, and she killed it as Suze Orman—seriously, who would have been a good Russian character anyway? Also love that she kept hurling shadeballs at Fame the whole time. Pearl did fine as Big Ang; we’re learning Pearl comes alive whenever she’s wearing giant boobs. Violet was actually amazing as Alyssa Edwards. She knew how to make her chin disappear and nailed the iconic click. Kennedy did some great acting as Little Richard, although I’d argue the wail came in handy as a crutch—but there’s no denying she was quick with the one-liners. She left me curious as to how she would have been as Sweet Brown.
The real and only winner in my mind, however, was Ginger Minj as Adele. The look was on POINT and I love the decision to make the character eat constantly due to her “low sugar” and to be polishing her awards. Ginger could have done more with the voice, but we can’t all be Aidy Bryant.
NEXT: And now for the other half…[pagebreak]
Now let’s get to the weak spots on an otherwise strong panel. First up was Miss Fame, who really should have let Violet do Donatella and let Katya do the Russian accent—because that was NOT an Italian accent. Jaidynn was uninspired as Raven Symoné—she was truly Disney Channel Raven Symoné, not crazy, politically incorrect Raven Symoné in real life, which was a missed opportunity. Like Michelle said, her “premonition” was funny the first two times but died after the third.
Last and unfortunately least was Max as Sharon Needles. I can’t believe she ever tried to take Sharon on. Couldn’t she have done someone she knew she could do, like Lady Edith or something? A “Disneyfied” Sharon Needles makes no sense, and watching Max chuckle in a very un-Sharon way was horrifying. Perhaps the most cringe-worthy moment in Snatch Game history came with the question, “Portia de Rossi says Ellen is so funny that even her [blank] makes her laugh.” To which Max responded, “Temper tantrums. You know why? Because Ellen never has temper tantrums!” That reminded me of toddler humor, or a joke I thought was hilarious when I was 2: “Why did the chicken cross the road?” “Because he didn’t want to!” When Ru tried to glean some reason from that “joke,” Max tried and failed to save the moment with, ““Everything she says is so damn funny you can’t even tell!” Oh my. I’ve read Family Circuses that were funnier than that.
The leather-and-lace runway was fabulous—the standouts were Ginger Minj in “Elvis Prissley” white and Katya in a slutty cougar outfit, which prompted Tamar to say, “You were like Britney at 45!” Which is a giant compliment on this show. The lowlight was Jaidynn, whose “nude illusion” top looked like a loose-fitting Thanksgiving sweater. Awful.
Sharon Needless to say, Jaidynn and Max were in the bottom two, and Max truly proved she wasn’t a true superstar when she had to have a diva moment and loosen her corset to keep from swooning and absolutely did NOT pull it off. It all turned out to be a weird excuse to take off her shirt and sing a showtune. If Ru didn’t already want to eliminate her, she did then. Max basically pantomimed her way through the lip sync, so by the end of it, it wasn’t actually a surprise when she got eliminated.
Could the gray wig have been the source of all her powers? Justin noted that there’s a Michelle Visage Curse—when Michelle tells a kween to change something about herself and she listens, it often comes back to bit her in the padded ass.
What WAS a surprise was Ru’s announcement that one of the kweens who’d already sashayed away would be sashaying back with a vengeance. Could it be anyone but Trixie? Make sure to check out our exclusive quotes from the eliminated kweens (minus Kandy—she was unreachable for mysterious and shady reasons) on why they should be the ones to claw their way back and who they should replace.
Now for the Fierce List, which has a few surprises:
1. Ginger Minj: I was feeling weirdly indifferent toward Ginger the past few weeks, but now she’s firmly on top again. She never turns off her wit, and the other girls can’t keep up. Tonight’s performance as Adele was a game-changer in my eyes.
2. Katya: If she could only shed the self-doubt and self-deprecation, she’d be killing this competition.
3. Violet Chachki: Surprise! I wasn’t a fan of Violet until recently, and I’m now willing to admit that the early shadiness could easily have been an edit job. She proved this week that she can be genuinely funny.
4. Pearl: A darkhorse for the top three. Her pink look on the runway tonight was a showstopper. I still want to see a tiny hint of refinement, though.
5. Miss Fame: It was a bad week for her—I think Fame’s at her funniest when she’s unintentionally funny—but her looks and natural charisma will take her a bit farther. She needs a breakthrough, and fast, if she expects any chance at the final three.
6. Kennedy Davenport: It seems unfair to put a challenge winner this close to the bottom. She proved tonight that she isn’t just a pageant queen, but this girl just doesn’t have it. I still haven’t forgiven her for last week’s runway look. What the hell were those crystals on her face?
7. Jaidynn Diore Fierce: I love this girl, and she should be proud of herself for coming this far, but it’s the end of the road for her.