As we enter the home stretch of our time here with HankMed, things are starting to get pretty emotional. The final season has given us a chance to say goodbye to some of our favorite long-lost friends (like Jill, gulp!), and even though there are still a few episodes left, we’ve now passed the halfway mark, so the tone has officially shifted to unbridled nostalgia.
By paying a visit to Hank’s medical mentor tonight, we find out exactly why Hank’s been so attached to his old Saab all this time. Meanwhile, Jeremiah’s putting his old audio-visual club skills to good use by prepping a sweet little lullaby video for Divya’s new baby, since, ya know, he won’t get to be around the HankMed squad as often as his big sister has (again, GULP).
Even through all the ooey-gooey feelings of finality that are happening, the team’s still hard at work, saving lives and taking names per usual. Here were the cases (which, compared to most, weren’t all that weird this time) from this week’s Royal Pains.
#1: Roid rash is real.
Ken Keller is basically a human tornado of nervous-slash-angry energy, so it’s hard to tell right away that his stress level is indicative of anything other than his usual level of agitation. The self-proclaimed “superstar agent” was all set to be in a fancy Sports Illustrated spread in town, but walked when he found out he’d be standing next to his professional nemesis, Rick “The Prick” Peterson.
Whatever frustration brought him to Hank’s home was good luck, however, because not only is he tachycardic, but it looks like his ticker is kind of a time bomb right now (his EKG shows nonspecific STT changes, along with left atrial and left ventricular hypertrophy — or in Hank’s more layman-friendly words, “something unnatural is causing the chambers of your heart to dilate”).
Ken tries to play it off with his colleagues that he’s taking care of his dad — he doesn’t want to be perceived as the “wounded antelope instead of the lion” — but he’s got a confirmed case of cardiomyopathy, and Hank’s trying to figure out what’s causing it. Ken’s reaction (nope to drugs; nope to diabetes; nope to any bad behavior whatsoever) proves that, yes, all patients can and do lie.
He flatlines at Divya’s baby shower and has to be revived with the crash cart before the guest of honor can even arrive to receive her surprise. That’s when Hank discovers the track marks from Ken’s steroid injections all over his lower back and realizes exactly what’s causing his heart condition. Why the lie? Apparently, he was afraid Hank would get all “judgy” on him (but as Hank rightly points out, he almost got all “dead-y” on him as a consequence of the major omission) because he admires Hank’s free-as-a-bird lifestyle.
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The good news is that Ken’s heart will probably heal all the injectable damage he’s done to it, and now he can flit off to Los Angeles — where he thinks no one gets old — and live the untethered life of luxury he’s always dreamed of, apparently. And with that, another of the show’s long-timers bites the dust. Farewell, Ken Keller!
NEXT: NEVER tell a woman her hormone symptoms are psychosomatic…