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RJ triumphs over Kelli and Angela

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RJ Helton, American Idol
R.J. Helton: J. Viles/FOX

American Idol

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
seasons:
15
performer:
Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, Ryan Seacrest
broadcaster:
Fox
genre:
Reality TV

RJ triumphs over Kelli and Angela

So, RJ is the wild card. The square-headed sweetie got the judges’ vote.

Okay, I can’t begrudge him the spot. He doesn’t have a cat’s chance in hell, as Simon would say, to win this baby, but he’s sooooo nice. Well, that, and does anyone else think those judges were threatened with some kind of lawsuit if he didn’t get a shot after their big fight? What if some lawyer swooped in and made a case that RJ might have had a chance with the American public had Simon, Randy, and Paula not turned ”American Idol” into a WWF Smackdown?

Baseless conspiracy theory? Perhaps, but it gives me something to think about until next week’s episode.

Regardless of how he got the seat, we have to be grateful, once again, that Kelli didn’t make the cut. I can’t stand her look or her voice, but I have to admit she was a hell of a lot better now that she wasn’t singing Whitney. But whatever warmth I felt towards her was instantly eliminated once they showed the clip of her pushing some poor consoler’s hand out of the way when she didn’t get voted in the first time around. I know Simon thinks she’s got a career ahead of her, but let’s all take a moment and pray that he’s wrong.

As for Alexis and Chris, I have to agree with the judges. Chris needs to strap down those hands because he alternately looks like he’s at a sporting event gesticulating to players and like he’s having some kind of epileptic attack. His voice is good, his look is hot, but he could use some moves.

I’m not too concerned about Alexis. The girl’s 17 and she should come back to this show (which will no doubt still be going strong) in a couple of years with some better musical taste. I’m not quite sure what Simon meant about telling her she should be a ”Latino” singer. What, just because her last name is Lopez she has to be channeling Selena?

Of course, Alexis wasn’t the only one who chose the wrong song. I was the numero uno defender of Angela Peel all along, but what was that song? There are so many killer songs out there that could have better showcased her voice. Why that one? What’s wrong with these people that they can’t choose a proper tune? It’s as if once they get beyond Whitney and Stevie, their brains go to mush. Frankly, I don’t think anyone had such a spectacular song choice.

Still, Angela was the one contestant of the five I thought could have won against those other nine finalists. Ah, those other nine finalists. Next week we get to watch 90 minutes of them performing live. As for the good stuff we’ve got in store? I’m already dying to see what fashion disaster Ryan’s going to wear. I am excited to see if Simon’s two ”losers,” Jim and A.J., are voted off first. I absolutely cannot wait to hear Tamyra and Justin’s awe-inspiring voices again. And I am thrilled to be able to rest, once and for all, that Kelli will not be 2002’s American Idol.