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Ringer recap: Birthday Bummer

It’s the twins’ birthday but, instead of taking a trip to Chuck E. Cheese, Siobhan and Bridget tell some more lies

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The Ringer
Michael Desmond/The CW

Ringer

type:
Movie
Current Status:
In Season

If an episode of Ringer is gonna open with the ginormous, wall-sized photo of Siobhan, then I would typically be on board. I mean that’s just logic. But tonight’s Ringer was kind of a snooze…until the last like 10 minutes. Frankly, it all felt like filler, which isn’t a great sign when you’re on episode 4 of a (hopefully) 22 episode series! Hopefully, the fairy epic twist at the end will mean that the drama next week will be amped up. GIANT PORTRAITS FOR EVERYONE!

So the episode began with fake Siobhan (Bridget) having a dream in which Andrew confronted her about real Bridget’s duffel bag and driver’s license. It was all so disturbing for Siobhan especially since she had just come from a day of shopping. And then she turned around to see a mangled and seemingly dead real Siobhan, looking like she has definitely missed a spray tan or two. But then Bridget woke up and was greeted by Andrew with the nickname that makes me ears bleed, “Shiv.” Oof. Turns out, today is Siobhan’s birthday which of course means it’s also Bridget’s. Remember, they’re twins! In honor of her bday, Bridget decides to head out to the Hamptons and Andrew agrees to go with her but not before she talks about taking the Jitney, which makes Andrew laugh. I’ll bet Two and a Half Men really gets him chuckling too.

So Bridge heads out to the Hamptons and all I could think was “If there’s another horrendous green screen boat ride, then I’m removing this from my DVR.” Thankfully nothing like that happened. In fact, the house didn’t haven crazy green screen either. And when the actors went outside, it actually appeared to be the outdoors! Bridget went back to the bus station and removed her duffel bag but was caught on the surveillance camera. She’s not so bright that Bridge. Of course Agent Machado saw the footage and realized that fake Siobhan wasn’t telling the truth. Poor Nestor Carbonell. Honestly, I think he had more exciting scenes on Suddenly Susan. This character seems so thankless.

After she returns to the house, Bridget and Andrew spend some time outside (no green screen!) but then return home to a crashing noise. Gemma and Henry have been fighting and she threw a vase at him. Who does that in someone else’s house? Between the horrendous phone etiquette and the vase throwing, these people need to read some Emily Post. Bridget decides to get Gemma out of the house and they both go into town and have lunch. Gemma decides to do some shopping alone and, while shopping for hats to presumably hide her atrocious dye job, is approached by Agent Machado. He tells Gemma about Siobhan having a twin sister Bridget. Meanwhile, Bridget is enjoying her coffee and flashes back to when she and Siobhan were kids and bought a cheapo necklace that they gift each other every year. Also, it was revealed that even as a kid Siobhan was a snob.

Naturally, Gemma is shocked and runs home to tell fake Siobhan (Bridget) what she’s learned. No sign of shopping bags or proof that she indeed bought that quite necessary hat. Ugh. Bridget once again flashes back to her birthday six years ago when the twins were both living in Nevada. Siobhan basically tells Bridget she’s moving to NYC and doesn’t wanna see her again and gives Bridget back the necklace. In terms of learning about Siobhan from this flashback, well, we saw that she lived in a really janky apartment with bad wood paneling and really bad wall art. Basically, we saw an early version of the bad taste that led to the giant Siobhan photo. Very revealing.

Meanwhile back in Paris, real Siobhan was once again hitting the bar and wearing a completely inappropriate out, complete with oversize chunky necklace. Lady clearly packed only the basics. She basically was spying on Tyler, the dude she almost barfed on last week during their hook-up. She tried to apologize for her behavior but he didn’t seem to care and had an even hotter lady with him. As he walked away, she took a call and I believe said, “Hey Snack.” I could be confused but what I’m gathering is her partner in this weird con on the other end of the phone is a Snickers bar.

NEXT: Gemma utters the greatest line in Ringer history!

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