The lesson of this week’s episode is simple: 16th-century men are exactly the same as 21st-century men (and probably every man in the centuries between). All they care about is sex and their ego and sex (and bathing if his name is Narcisse). And then there’s Leith, who is pretty much the Romeo of the show at this point, but for what he lacks in selfishness, Greer certainly makes up for.
We start off with a dream sequence that I was really hoping would feature King Henry. But it seems Kenna has moved on to the hot ging. Yep, she’s fantasizing about Renaude telling her to “tell me what you want.” (The words we all want to hear … but never will because men only care about [themselves during] sex and ego.)
In real life, Francis has Renaude’s men on the search for Condé, stopping everyone who fits his description at check points. In other words, those check points are hot spots to find a sexy husband, ladies! Get to it!
Not surprisingly, Mary is still trying to save Condé’s life, asking Francis to let him flee, not out of love but out of guilt for putting him in this position. Sadly, treason is punishable by death, and Francis can’t find a way that Condé walks away from this alive.
In the hallways, Renaude runs into Kenna “in the flesh”—Kenna, you’re drooling—where he speaks frankly about ambition. And when Kenna swoons, he tells her, “I’m always happy to know I’ve pleased a lady.” WELL PLAYED, RENAUDE.
Meanwhile in Claude’s room, Leith catches her in a lie. It seems her trip to the “hatmaker” is really a trip into town to drink alcohol and have sex with her “twin soul.” Yeah, not a good way to explain a lover. Regardless, Leith isn’t looking to get on Catherine’s bad side, so he leaves Claude at the castle for now.
So while Catherine denies her daughter sex, she enjoys a bit of her own with Narcisse. Only, she can’t stop thinking about Condé on the run. Bit of advice: Don’t sleep with Scar and then bring up one of the hyenas. (We decided Condé was a hyena, right?)
But Catherine quickly moves the subject to Lola. She wants Narcisse to prove that Lola’s nothing more than a “passing amusement.” How? By doing something unforgivable. Spoiler: He sketches a very detailed photo of Lola naked in a bathtub. (Or maybe he’d already sketched it. Who knows with that one.) Needless to say, the gossip about Lola spreads quickly.
But that isn’t the sort of gossip that Mary is currently worried about. Wearing a black veil to conceal herself, Mary pays a visit to Greer and asks that her “girls” keep an ear out for any news on Condé or who might’ve burned down the house. In exchange, she gives greedy Greer even more money!
So while Greer manages her brothel, her dreamy beau returns to the Cardinal for an update on the annulment. Long story short: Leith is going to have to keep doing “chores” for years in order to pay enough for the annulment. Option 2? Steal from the castle, sell said stolen good, and then roll in dough and enjoy wedded bliss.
Ever the eager romantic, Leith goes for option 2, but Claude catches him in the act. So instead of getting all the money he needs, he gets turned into Claude’s servant. Moments later, he’s escorting her into town so that she can have all the reunion sex she wants with her lover. The bad news? By “all the reunion sex she wants” I mean “all the reunion sex he wants,” because instead of sticking around and trying to become a legitimate man for Claude, he does the typical man thing and gets his and then hits the road.
NEXT: Where has Bash been all day?