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The Real Housewives Of New Jersey recap: 'Gators and Haters'

Kevin Jonas builds a house, Rosie breaks up with her girlfriend, and Hurricane Jim strikes the women’s Florida trip.

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Real Housewives Of New Jersey

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

TV Show
Current Status:
On Hiatus
run date:
Reality TV

In the wilds of Florida, alligators are known to be very protective of their territory and prefer prey they can swallow whole. In the wilds of New Jersey (a decidedly different type of swamp), husbands can behave in a similar way. But instead of a quick kill when dealing with the enemy, things are drawn out for weeks, months, sometimes even years. For gators, this is due to their slow metabolism. For Jersey men, this is due to their ego.

Before the husbands could join in—and shortly thereafter end—all the Florida fun, the ladies continued their vacation away from other people’s problems with a trip to the Gator Park. Dina naturally became attached to a tailless little creature while Teresa became more distracted by Rino’s now official decision not to join the rest of the husbands in Florida now that Jim and Amber are coming. The thing is, Rino is actually already in another part of Florida golfing with Bobby and still decides that Jim is one piece of prey he knows he would want to destroy in one bite. But since that’s not the norm here, he wisely chooses to take himself out of the situation completely.

Last week, Jacqueline Laurita returned to the show, so naturally she was the main topic of conversation for the ladies left back home, i.e. Teresa Giudice. We already knew about the emotional text messages that Jacqueline had sent Teresa, who breaks down while reading the warm wishes and regards in a confessional. Now, Joe reveals that Chris Laurita has been pretty much doing the same thing with him and invites them out for a glass of wine and for it to be like old times, you know, seasons 1-3. Well, some of season 3 at least. Though Teresa did text her back (because Teresa always texts back), she isn’t ready to fully forgive and trust Jacqueline again, even though she totally said she did forgive her and trusted her after an Arizona apology. True, Jacqueline said some nasty things about the Giudices in the past, but the two of them used to be as close as sisters—and Teresa would never be “that sister” to talk about someone that way. Right, she would only be the sister-in-law to do such a thing. (Again, see season 3.)

The only other housewife left up north is Amber, who enjoys some wine in ice (I can’t) while getting ready to go down south with Jim. Everyone is expecting a conflict once they land—including themselves—so why are they even going anyway? Jim won’t talk to Bobby anymore because Bobby only cares about Bobby, and Amber couldn’t actually keep quiet like she told everyone she would and spilled the big Gotti rumor to Jim. He doesn’t want her to bring it up because he knows it will cause trouble (yeah, duuuh) and Amber adopts a new motto for life: mouth shut, head down, move on.

Elsewhere, Kathy is moving right along with the construction of her new home, which is naturally being lead by Kevin Jonas. In clever editing, it wasn’t revealed right away that the man walking around the site with Kathy and Rich was actually Kevin Jonas until Rosie confronted him: “Don’t you sing or something?” IT IS KEVIN JONAS! Kevin Jonas is building The Wakiles dream home. I’ll let that all sink in for you with another word from Rosie: “Who’s designing the landscape? *NSYNC? Let’s get Lance Bass on this s—!”

NEXT: How quickly a mood can change