Welcome back to the hen den! The women are still clustered around the kitchen table, looking down at Ramona with smug expressions of faux pity. There’s another woman in Mario’s life!, the fortune teller apparently announced. Avery!, assured Ramona. (“Well, it’s not me, I just want you to know,” said Sonja, before collapsing into tears.) Could everyone please be quiet and let Kelly
interpret translate! The problem at home is that Ramona is too stressed out all the time. “I’m doing multi businesses,” Ramona bleated at the bored-looking fortune teller, who most likely had been slipped 20 dirham by Brad to get the woman’s goat.
Surprisingly, Ramona handled the scene well. She found a friend in Brad’s buddy who agreed that the rest of the women were just jealous of her, especially that damn Countess who Ramona swears has always had eyes for Mario. (Somehow the world doubts this.) In the other room, Jill hissed that she heard from her crowd that Mario was indeed stepping out on Ramona. Meanwhile Sonja, who was impossibly loaded, just couldn’t bear the news. She wanted to make sure Ramona knew how crappy her life was about to get. “What if your husband leaves after your daughter goes to college!?” she wept. Ramona kind of rolled her eyes and brushed her teeth, while telling Sonja to get a grip. “My husband is gone!” sobbed Sonja. “Well, Sonja, your husband is like 70 years old,” said Ramona, and then basically called her friend a flagrant gold digger. Jill bopped over and told the girls to smile when they feel like crying. Then she demonstrated her crinkle-eyed, vinegary expression she’s been flashing all season in tense moments. See, like that! “Let’s go dance our asses off!” slurred Sonja.
If there is one thing Cindy simply will not stand for, it’s saved seats. No ma’am, Sonja. Not today, not ever! Sonja, dressed up for a day at the souk looking like Barbara Hershey at the end of Beaches, was innocently saving LuAnn’s seat. This set Cindy for a loopity loop. So at the souk, where Sonja was convinced she was about to be kidnapped and forced into sex slavery, Cindy kept popping around corners to hector her. “How old are you? Would you want your daughter to behave like that? Pecking order? Pecking order is not here my friend!” Oh Cindy, go buy a rug.
Meanwhile Jill just wanted everyone to relax and admire her fanny pack. At this point in the episode I got incredibly confused by stirring feelings of affection for Jill. She seemed relaxed and back to her good-natured, tacky, well-meaning season 1 self. Who wants some Some-mores? A little graham cracker, some Hershey’s? I could die-uh.
NEXT: If any of you have had a tough week, please watch (and rewatch) LuAnn’s camel try to buck her off