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The Real Housewives of New York City recap: Housewives Gone Wild

What’s a Real Housewives once-in-a-lifetime vacation without gratuitous nudity and nasty name-calling?

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Real Housewives Nyc

The Real Housewives of New York City

TV Show
Reality TV
run date:
Current Status:
In Season

Or, as Reid rather rudely put it, welcome to the episode of “Overweight, Old Ladies Gone Wild.” This confuses me on two fronts. Isn’t Aviva around the same age as the rest of the Housewives? Who on this trip is anywhere close to being fat?

The hour began on a sour note, with Aviva droning at her husband to leave some of the anti-oxidant rich food for her. You know how there’s only a few things in this world she will ingest. “Please don’t eat all the blueberries darling,” she said, before directing her gaze approvingly on Russ and Carole. “You guys are a nice…,” she said with a wave of her hand, “there’s a really nice vibe here. You’re both really genteel people.” Unlike that white trash Ramona creeping around behind them in her yoga pants looking for some coffee and a cheese danish.

Sonja and Ramona were still stewing about the whole Aviva uproar while they pecked grumpily at the breakfast tray. Worst girls trip ever, they agreed. If there was ever a memo circulated specifying that any meal would be consumed with boyfriends or husbands present Ramona certainly didn’t get it. And if we learned nothing from Ramona and Jill’s friendship over the last four seasons it’s that Ramona does not like surprises. If Sonja had known the group was going to splinter off like it was she would’ve just stayed home already. After all she could’ve been getting her plumbing worked on (if you know what she means) or directing her intern to the animal throw-up stains on the Persian rug or fixing her leaky gutters. Instead she’s stuck eating island fruit by a splendid pool in a gorgeous tropical setting.

And just what is white trash anyways? Ramona couldn’t find a thing about it in her reporter’s notebook. “Maybe we are white trash but who cares?” said Sonja. “Don’t call me that!” Maybe it meant that they were tacky? Or white? “White, we’re white,” the get-along girls agreed. But, after reading the definition on Ramona’s iPad, they agreed that they weren’t hillbillies per se, and neither of them were Okies as far as they knew.”Call me a name, call me what I am,” insisted Ramona. Oh you crazy, drunk step aerobics model, you.

NEXT: Heather has had it with these crazy bitches.