The finale opened with the women getting ready to gather once more at the season’s last party. (Sadly for them it was at the Chamber of Commerce’s 100th birthday party for Beverly Hills. That meant plastic cups and dreary looking appetizers of shish kebab tomatoes and cheese.) Yolanda arrived with her hair swept back into curls and heart aflame with righteousness. Is Lisa her Hollywood friend or a real friend. (After tonight scornful enemy should be an option.) Kyle per usual wore a too tight dress whose straps she was constantly adjusting. Brandi’s dress was beautiful, as was her date Drew, who just so happened to be black which I’m not saying was a calculated move on her part but you know she’s going to bring it up at the reunion if she’s accused again of being a racist.Kim arrived on the arm of an extremely twiggy Joyce and Michael. Carlton was there too.
“I feel really sad, that’s the problem,” said Lisa in the limo on the way over. “I feel really hungry, that’s the problem,” countered Ken, rather sensibly. Since Puerto Rico Lisa had ignored Kyle’s texts and not reached out to Brandi. She was over these women before she arrived, and Ken had appointed himself her surly guard dog lest anyone dare give his women, whom he lovingly, if somewhat naively, considers infallible it this whole mess.
At the party Brandi wandered over to say hello to Carlton, whose time on the finale was blessedly brief. Brandi picked up on Carlton’s chilliness and warned her former makeout buddy that Lisa was pulling her strings now. Carlton refused to be labeled a puppet—she detests labels, unless she’s the one assigning them—and wondered when she could turn the conversation around to bashing Kyle.
Across the party Yolanda slid up next to a very aloof Lisa. “Hi Yolanda,” said Lisa. “Helloooo darlin,'” said Yolanda, going in for a double kiss. Classic Hollywood friend move! Kyle joined their group which meant Ken did a drive by with some liquid courage for his wife. Apparently Ken had yet to avail himself of a tomato kebab because he was very hangry with the women, refusing to make eye contact or crack a smile. Yolanda did not approve. And when Lisa turned her back on them, refusing to engage about their sudden abandonment in Puerto Rico Yolanda was done. “I haven’t seen Beyonce with that kind of an attitude,” she said.
NEXT: “You are listening to silly women talk,” Ken warns us all.