The third (third!) installment of the Reunion opened back up on Taylor’s love-me face. She detailed some of the various abuses she suffered in her marriage. There were the recording devices Russell had left around the house, determined to catch her in a lie. There were the years of fending off his accusations of her having affairs, until the point she threw her hands up and volunteered to take a polygraph test. She aced it, she told Andy, not that that soothed her husband’s savage beast. “‘I’m convinced that you know how to cheat a polygraph test,'” she claimed Russell told her. “That or I paid off the examiner.” Then there was the time he hid in the bushes during a friend’s wedding planning session, where he overheard some concerned friends worrying over Taylor’s safety. Out Russell leapt, knocking the husband down. Then he threw Taylor in the pool, and the couple, and the couple’s dog. “Did your friends prosecute Russell for this?” Andy asked. “No because I asked them not to,” she said, insisting again that she and Kennedy would be left with nothing if Russell paid for his crimes. At this Brandi twitched.
Andy then asked why Taylor said Camille exaggerated Russell’s bad behavior when she writes in the book about him dislocating her jaw so badly that she had to literally pop it back into place. Taylor explained that Camille said he broke it and that Russell figured that discrepancy would force Bravo to edit out Camille’s on-camera revelations. (Good lord, the s— storm that must have gone behind the scenes at the Bravo club house pre-season.) Andy prodded Brandi to say why she was skeptical of Taylor’s claims, and the woman just shook her head. The whole thing creeped her out, along with Camille, who couldn’t wrap her head around these horrific stories when Russell wasn’t there to defend himself. Brandi said she didn’t want to talk about any of it, and then looked over at Taylor and, I think sincerely, tried to apologize. Her jab about the book was provoked by Taylor’s comment about Eddie’s tires and—. Taylor cut her off hard. “You said it first,” she hissed. Brandi tried to apologize again. “First! First!” Then Taylor got that crazy fish squiggle of a smile as she pretended to apologize herself. It was the most unsettling moment of the night.
A viewer wrote in rolling her eyes about how it was the Housewives leaving her home while they went to Hawaii that finally got Taylor to leave her husband. To which Taylor responded with a blizzard of words—orbital floor blow-out surgeon cranial orbital—insisting it was actually the dismal results of her MRI. “I’m dusting myself off and hoping people can forgive and forget,” she said at the end of this non-cathartic segment. “People who don’t like me haven’t lived a day in my shoes.”
NEXT: Dana does a drive by; Kim touches down for landing.