How was tonight’s episode you wonder? Well let’s just say it opened with Kim getting her wiener waxed. And Kyle considered getting her tweeter twedazzled. Then Kim considered putting her wiener on a cleanse with lemons from Yolanda’s grove but decided that was an unnecessary step.”It’s not like mine’s been eating a whole lot anyways,” she said. Then Kyle went spread eagle and submitted herself (and that poor, poor production crew) to her own wiener wax. Suddenly Kim came was on the table getting what I’m pretty sure was an actual nose hair wax and not another bizarre euphemism for vaginal work and Kyle thrust a pink dildo in her hand. Confused? Bored? Welcome to episode 11.
Surprise, Carlton has chosen another naughty activity. And this time she’d been hitting the tequila thimble and brought a friend who speaks fluent stuffed animal. “Don’t break your perfect little nosey on the poley?” her plaything meowed at her. Carlton for one was greatly amused by her F—- Off panties. Maybe Yolanda is right after all and there is nothing more unbecoming than a drunk woman. Brandi looked like she’d rather be anywhere else in the world but gamely slid down the pole into a depressed split.
Meanwhile Kim had her daughter’s graduation party to host. She’d been planning a Coachella-style event in her big sister’s field but then Kathy fled for Buckingham Palace. (Wait, wha? I don’t know either.) Turns out Kimberly’s father is quite the piece of eye candy. Everybody was enjoying a lovely evening of virgin pina coladas while outside Brandi and Carlton sat limbs akimbo on the front stoop gnawing their Fat Burgers. Don’t make eye contact Porsha! The strippers finally made it inside only for Brandi to beeline it to dry heave in the bathroom while Carlton demanded alcohol from everyone in her path. Despite a couple of unseemly guests, Kim’s night was a terrific success and her loving speech to her daughter was refreshingly succinct and on subject.
NEXT: Joyce and Brandi, the remix. Or rather, the re-re-remix.