“My life is just stupid,” announced NeNe at the top of the hour. Girl, I know the feeling. The tepid season dribbled to a close last night. The action kicked off in a supposedly upscale furniture store, with a sad NeNe slow-blinking her cow eyes at a four-poster bed. Doesn’t she already have a bed?, wondered her faithful ally Cynthia. “I’ve bounced around in it too much with Gregg.” She finally plopped down in a living room arrangement and told Cynthia that she had decided to proceed with the divorce. Her sadness, rightly comparing a divorce to a death, marked one her few moments of unfettered realness all season. Oh well, time to pick up a sectional and move forward with her life. But NeNe sure is going to miss Gregg’s sex. (Who would have thought?)
Meanwhile Kandi was swelling with delight, filled up with an enormous feeling of….. accomplishment. She was finally holding the first sample of her Happiness & Joy adult toy. “I need to get some music so I can try this thing out,” she told her business partner over Skype. Surprise bonus! A vibrating fish lip stick. “Can you imagine taking that on the plane and all the fun things you can do just sitting in your seat,” said Kandi. Do you hear that people? The air is not safe! Now that her goodies were all ready to hit the market it was time to celebrate. “Anytime you’re doing
a Real Housewives finale a new product you always have to do party,” said Kandi.
The Bailey Agency is open for business! Cynthia had organized a modeling call to select her first round of students. “There’s a lot people here who should not be here,” she said. “It’s not just a sick body and good looks. Models have to be smart. They actually have to figure out how to get from the airport to the hotel, from the hotel to the agency. And they have to eat! And they usually don’t have people with them.” So models occasionally have to leave the house unaccompanied. Be trusted to read aloud an address to a cab driver and hand over some paper money at the end of the ride. And they have to find an establishment that offers low-calorie foodstuffs and manage to get some of it into their mouths? Stereotype dashed! “Is Peter Thomas in the building?” Cynthia sing-songed at the end. Uh oh, not again. But then in strutted our favorite Jamaican, looking like the cock of the walk. Cynthia thanked him for
bouncing producing the event, now that the traitorous Mal had abandoned her.
NEXT: Speaking of cattle calls…