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The Real Housewives of Atlanta recap: If This Wall Could Talk

Kim and her wigs moved into their new mansion, while the women gathered to celebrate the opening of the Bailey Agency.

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Real Housewives Of Atlanta

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

TV Show
Reality TV
run date:
Current Status:
In Season

Well done, Phaedra. The Attorney at Law acquitted herself with marvelous aplomb when Sheree stopped by to wonder over her handling of the hearing with Bob. “You and I, we need to talk,” said Sheree, with a glint of aggression in her eye. “This is my life.” Phaedra went into a most calming professional purr, reminding her friend that she wasn’t actually retained until 3:30 the day before court and that it took Sheree an eventually amount of time to pay her. Sheree stomped her hoof; Phaedra gracefully held her ground. “We probably should not work together,” said Phaedra. “Because I love you as a friend and I don’t want this case to hinder our friendship.” Well played, woman! Sheree looked terrifically relieved and gave her a warm hug, though the fuzziness of the scene was somewhat diminished by an unnecessary dig in her private interview. “I am so relieved that Phaedra decided not to represent me anymore, otherwise I was going to fire her ass.” Lock it away for the Reunion!

Inevitably, Kim moved into her new 17,000-square-foot home. That meant saying goodbye to her smoke-infused townhouse and their beloved kitchen wall of memories. Look, there’s a little throw-up stain from that time Mom and NeNe had a Chablis party. Aw, someone glued one of Sweetie’s extensions down here at the bottom. Even Brielle signed her name with a big pink X. Designer to the Stars Kendra had one week to get the new digs in perfect Zolciak style (read: framed photos of a pouting Kim everywhere). Kim was most excited to reveal little KJ’s nursery to her worried husband, who didn’t want bows or tiaras to spill into the chosen one’s lair.  The family drove through the dark to get to their new mansion, Kim’s various wigs belted safely into the backseat, each of their faces frozen in Lindsay-Lohan-after-a-long-night expressions. Kroy looked suitably terrified before they entered KJ’s room. Would his firstborn’s foreskin be bedazzled above the leopard-spotted crib? Would there be scantily clad girl babies strewn across a velvet chaise for KJ’s amusement? It was hard to tell just what Kroy thought of the Rock Star motif—all Ed Hardy crosses and throne chandeliers—but Kim gave herself a pat on the back for following her man’s “no bows, bitch” mandate.

Back from a brief reprieve in New York, Cynthia has doubled down on her mission to bring some culture to Atlanta. Didn’t you know she was part of the art scene? So she invited the Housewives to a friend’s zoo-animals exhibit at a gallery. It was a real coup that Marlo graced the event with her presence, what with her being a member of “Atlanta’s high society” and all. The only problem with the art world is that people get so pretentious and conversations are so stuffy and affected. Yo Marlo, how’d you get your money? Well, she always waits for sales and she pays her balances off every month.”She doesn’t blow money,” translated Kandi. “The question is, does she blow to get money?”

NEXT: Peter is determined to make you hate him.