And so we meet again, fellow Runway nuts! As the fiercely fashion-forward Annie Barrett explained in her delightfully Banannie-esque recap last week, I was still wrapping up my peregrinations through India (where Tim will be happy to know I shopped both thoughtfully andstrategically), and was unable to host my usual EW.com party in honor of a new season of hot messes, dull doozies, and cheeky (ha) wardrobe malfunctions. But I’m back in the U.S. and A. and will be your faithful recapper from here on out. So grab your potato sacks and follow me down the rabbit hole, will you?
I agree with Lady Barrett that this season has to be better than the medieval torture chamber that was cycle six. (Irina Who?) Call me brash for making such pronouncements on the second date, but the cast is already striking my fancy more than the last group. And the producers — uh, I mean the judges seem to have learned from their most recent eff-ups — like the indisputable idiocy of axing weirdos too soon. So Ping, go ahead and get comfortable in your Atlas apartment!
For the second week in a row, the designers failed to set foot into the storied Mood mothership. Sad news for Janeane, who nevertheless failed to shed a single tear, even though there was also no trip to the moon or a Broadway show. She didn’t even cry tears of joy when she yelped she was ”so happy!” with her (rather bo-ring) gray dress. But I still agree with Annie that she’ll totally ABC. Just wait till she finds herself in a pit of stressed-out, uninspired exhaustion and has to defend her crapola in front of Nina’s narrow-eyed glare and Michael’s constipation face. The waterworks will be plentiful.
Heidi (as well as her new lack of bangs) promised the gang they’d be heading to a place that was ”a little out there,” and that place turned out to be a farm. As Tim stood adorably in the dirt, I mistook his female companions for background actors in the Lifetime Original Movie based on Gordana Gehlhausen’s Yugoslavian upbringing. But where are the sheep? I wondered. Turns out no ba-ah-ah-ing creatures were required, cause the models, clad in potato sacks, were there to illustrate that age-old nugget that a beautiful woman can rock any look — even a burlap bag. Not literally, of course. The designers had to transform a lump of burlap into a sexy little cocktail outfit that the models could wear to one of those ”industry events” with which Runway has become so smitten. Cool challenge. How come they couldn’t come up with more of these last season?
NEXT: Mila feels snubbed