Well, I’ll be damned. Last night, for the second week in a row now, Project Runway did what once seemed unthinkable: eject the weirdo early in the season, well before they have time to really wreak their bonkers havoc all over our television screens. Last week, Ari, she of the hooded-Martian-diaper-disco-romper, got her walking papers. Now Malvin Vien and his whispery, pseudo-philosophical musings on unwearable indelibility have taken a hike. With the two lead oddballs gone, who’s gonna entertain us for the next 15 weeks?
Then again, compared to the pantheon of nutterbutters who’ve shocked/amused/ delighted/horrified us on past seasons ofRunway, Malvin might very well have ended up being a bore. Are his designs 100 percent out there? Without question. But what we saw of his personality in the first two episodes weren’t exactly the telltale signs of a born-to-be-on-the-teevee showman. I know, I know. The show is about raw talent, not telegenic star quality. But come on! His scenes didn’t even warrant the sort of kooky ethereal rain-goddess soundtrack that accompanied Elisa Jimenez every time she appeared on screen two seasons ago. In eliminating him so early, it’s as if the judges were saying: ”Sorry Malvin, but even as a weirdo, you’re a failure.”
As always, Heidi kicked things off last night by giving the designers their assignment: create a figure-flattering ”pregnancy chic” design for Rebecca Romijn who, at the time this season was shot many months ago, was expecting twins. (Sidenote: I like to think there was a little wink-wink in Ms. Klum’s ”You will create a look for an actual celebrity!” In other words, for someone of a…uh…different caliber than last week’s guest judge.)
In the workroom, the contestants dove into their task, sketching and goofing around with their prosthetic bellies. (Epperson even tried his on: ”Booya!”) Post-shopping, Ra’mon fretted about playing it too safe, while Mitchell was still so traumatized by last week’s see-through Victorian nightgown snafu that he offered what I believe is Runway‘s first declaration of underachievement: ”I’m not looking to go out on a limb and win this challenge. I want to stick with being safe.” Hey, Mitch, mission accomplished. Not only was your T-shirt-and-shorts ensemble thoroughly underwhelming, but no one would ever venture out onto an actual limb in it. If she did, those hideously constructed droopy-drawers would get caught on a branch, and the poor wearer would end up dangling from said branch in a sap-soaked mega-wedgie. (I realize this makes two recaps in a row that I’ve referenced wedgies. Apparently, I am secretly a 12-year-old boy. Further proof: Gordana said ”boob area” and I laughed.)
NEXT PAGE: About that eggs-aggerated outfit…