Can someone explain what we just watched? That was the wackiest hour of Project Runway I think I’ve ever seen. Well, I’m forgetting the stripper and WWE challenges. I guess we’ll just say this show has had some very crazy episodes, and this one now ranks up there. I should have known we would be in for some weird fun when the title of the episode was listed as “Some Like It Hot Dog.”
It started off normal: Alyssa came out on the runway to present the challenge. In a smart move of synergy, Lifetime gets to promo their Marilyn Monroe miniseries AND give the designers a purpose this week. Marilyn left a lasting impression on pop culture, Alyssa says. In that vein, the designers must create a red carpet gown that dazzles, is timeless, and would be suitable for the Oscars. (What a perfectly timed episode!) In addition to securing a spot at the final runway, the designers will also land a job if they win this challenge: Designer for an upcoming Lifetime miniseries event.
With $500 burning a hole in each of their pockets, the designers get to shopping at Mood. Michelle blows through her cash very quickly with a burnout velvet that costs $80 a yard. Sonjia goes the opposite route and buys a variety of gold fabrics because—per usual—she doesn’t know what she wants to do exactly. Helen grabs a beaded Chantilly lace in a mint julep color. A theme from this episode emerges here: Is Helen’s fabric really sparkly? From my TV, this does not seem like a fabric that popped, but Helen was in love with the “timeless color.” Dmitry wanted to get a fringe to match the off-white lace he found, but he couldn’t find it. (Sean Kelly must have been there before him and bought the store out.)
So in a pretty genius move, Dmitry buys the bright white fringe and dyes it with tea bags. The result is off-white fringe that matches his lace. But if you ask Helen, the result is a dirty mop that looks like it has been cleaning up vomit. The woman paints a picture with her words—but she should be worrying about her own fabric. When Michelle (completely unprompted, I’m guessing the producers asked her to start some drama) asks, “Helen, do you think your lace is sparkly enough?’ Helen LOSES IT. As the creator of Mary Lambert‘s 2014 Grammy performance dress, which wouldn’t stop shining “for the life of itself”—whatever that means—Helen knows what sparkly is.
But there’s no time to contemplate fabrics because Isaac Mizrahi is entering the workroom with… wait for it … LASSIE. There was some loose connection between Lassie being a Hollywood icon, Isaac having a dog collection, the Best Friends Animal Society, and an exec from Dreamworks. All I know is that someone paid money for a Project Runway All Stars sponsorship and it resulted in a dog couture runway show that made me LOL over and over at the absurdity.
Lassie got to select the designers’ fabrics, dog models, and movie genres—yes, you read that right. No offense to Alyssa, but I kind of hope Lassie hosts Project Runway All Stars season 5.
If I were a designer, I would be angry that I’m called to do a mini, dog-related challenge during time I could be prepping my looks for the actual runway. But there is a prize for this challenge on the line as well. The winner will become a guest designer for Lassie’s couture canine collection. An excerpt from my notes at this moment: “WHAT IS HAPPENING?”
But the result is the most adorable runway in which four tiny dogs strutt their stuff on the red carpet. Michelle comes out the winner—and now has the title of Lassie’s Creative Director. How these designers aren’t laughing at the absurdity of this is beyond me. But then Helen utters, “My model pooped on the runway,” and I’m so thankful this is the first portion of the show and not the real runway.
NEXT: Back to the main event