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Project Runway All Stars recap: Seasonal Affective Disorder

Isaac’s silly opinions result in a terrible judging decision; Jerrell accuses Michael of copying his design

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Barbara Nitke/Lifetime

Project Runway All Stars

TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
Reality TV

Oh God. So this episode happened. Let’s just get started. I’ve got my wine and my bitch on. I hope you do too.

It’s time for Fashion Face-off! I like Fashion Face-off because it brings out the competitive drive in the designers, but I also hate it because sometimes the pairings lead to good designs being in the bottom and lame designs being on top. The designers picked slips of papers from bags that had names of seasons on them (at first I thought Angela meant previous seasons of Project Runway, which could have been cool). The designers who picked the same season would face off against each other: Mila and Rami chose autumn; Kenley and Mondo got summer; Jerrell and Michael chose winter; Austin Scarlett and Kara picked spring. They had to create an outfit for a weekend getaway appropriate for their season. Some of the match-ups looked awfully one-sided, but we were in for some big surprises…

In the sketching phase, the designers dreamed up all sorts of highly specific trips that their women would be going on. Mila’s New York woman would be going to Marfa, Texas for the modern art festival. That’s such the bitter-coffee type of thing Mila would be into. Mondo’s girl would be dressing up to go to his mom’s 60th birthday party, which doesn’t make too much sense, but awww.

Everyone started sizing up their competition, and that’s when the claws came out. Mondo said the fact that Kenley puts out the same design over and over again is actually kind of arrogant, and I agree. Michael started dissing Austin Scarlett’s designs, which actually made Austin Scarlett twitch like a startled cat. Then things really got ugly. Echoing the events of two seasons ago, Michael was accused of some shady conniving in the workroom. After unsuccessfully experimenting with a short bolero jacket, Michael scrapped his idea and started on a big, chunky coat — very similar to Jerrell’s. Did Michael glance over at Jerrell’s coat and steal the inspiration? Who knows, but Jerrell overreacted like crazy. If he’s as arrogant as he seems — and he seems arrogant to the point of delusion — he should have been glad Michael made something similar because it would only pale in comparison to his all the more on the runway.

Instead, Jerrell totally let it get to him and followed Michael and Mondo to the breakroom so they couldn’t have any private conversations about him. Over an awkward spaghetti dinner, Jerrell began listing the similarities between their two coats. “They’re both a square with two holes!” he shrieked. But you see, Jerrell, a square with two holes can be a lot of things. It can be a ghost costume. A slice of Swiss cheese. Or Teresa Giudice’s head. The only person who could rectify this impossible conflict was Joanna Coles, who called for a group meeting and decreed, “May the best man win.” The diplomacy skills that can only come from being an editrix-in-chief sure came in handy.

NEXT: Tonight’s runway actually made me miss (gasp!) the fashions from last season. At least those were outrageously bad. These were just sad. That’s why I titled this recap “Seasonal Affective Disorder.”