On tonight’s Pitch, everyone has bodies on the brain.
While assessing his own taped-up muscles and giant bruises, Lawson steals an envious glance at a younger player’s six-pack (Pitch may be a baseball show, but this moment was right out of every ballet movie, fyi). Meanwhile, the front office has produced a Ginny bobblehead that might haunt my nightmares tonight, so cartoonish are its Betty Boop curves and neon-pink blush. And, of course, those pesky nude photos of Ginny finally come home to roost.
Last week, I demanded that the payoff be epic after so much buildup. And it just… wasn’t. It was flat and watery and barely passable. Was it a cute idea, having the guys step up in solidarity to pose naked alongside Ginny for ESPN the Magazine‘s Body Issue? Absolutely. Any reason why we had to wait three episodes for that twist? Nope.
Another major problem with the naked-pics story line: Uh, the pics never actually came out. I guess we’re all to believe that hackers with access to some seriously revealing shots of Gin would be all, Oh, never mind, she’s on the Bodies Issue, now these full-frontal pics are worthless.
Speaking of full frontal: That’s how Lawson greets hot recruit Livan Duarte, whom you might remember from that time Oscar shaved a doll’s head and begged. Lawson may be feeling like most of his bits are old and sagging, but there’s clearly one body part he hasn’t lost confidence in — and when Duarte comes into the clubhouse for the first time, Lawson wags that body part at him proudly. (And he’s just out of an ice bath! Seriously? It must really be intimidating. So ballsy, literally.)
Then we get a brief exchange between Blip and Ginny about the naked photos: He thinks she was dumb to take them, she protests that it’s “my body, my business. I didn’t do anything wrong.” That’s the other problem with this story line: It plays out so predictably, I could almost guess the lines as we went along.
Unfortunately, that phoned-in cliché habit seems to seep its way into the rest of the episode, too. Oh, so the hot prospect Livan Duarte has a bad attitude, and not much else in the way of a personality? So Lawson is lonely, the poor little rich boy staring out at his pool? So the old pitching coach doesn’t know who Bradley Cooper is? Mediocre character development is undefeated tonight.
NEXT: When Pitch misses