Well, the Judy/Cindy photo plan worked. The photo of the pair kissing made it out of the prison and onto the news (the TV chyron: “Judy Loves Chocolate”), and everyone is excited over how they’ll use the money from it, but Cindy (whose face is blurred out in the photo) realizes they maybe didn’t think this through. For one, they gave Judy King the perfect damage control for her racist puppet show problem. Second, the people in charge aren’t going to be happy about this.
Sure enough, Caputo isn’t pleased, and the two have to pretend their newfound love is real and they didn’t have anything to do with snapping or selling the photo. Piscatella, meanwhile, orders Luschek to do a sweep of the entire prison for cell phones to try and find the culprit — which actually is Luschek. Later in the episode, Piscatella wonders aloud how Luschek ended up at Litchfield instead of working somewhere like, say, Gamestop. That’s something a lot of other people are probably wondering, too.
Meanwhile, the COs are still stopping and frisking Maria and the Dominicans, just because they can, and Blanca is getting sick of it. But she finds a loophole: Because she smells from not showering, the guards won’t touch her. She shares this with the others, who discover they don’t have to actually skip showering, so long as they use other gross-smelling substances (sardine juice, hot sauce) to similar effect.
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The episode also flashes back to Blanca’s pre-prison story, showing her as a home health aid for a grumpy old woman who initially misread her name as Bianca and decided she liked that better and stuck with it. She strikes up a flirtation with the woman’s gardener, Dario (a.k.a. “Diablo”), but after sensing their chemistry, the woman fires him. She claims he distracted Blanca from her job and she would have regretted getting involved with him. Blanca retaliates by having sex — make that very loud sex — with Dario in the woman’s bedroom in the middle of the night. After that, she becomes too scared of Blanca to argue with her.
NEXT: Would you rather not take a shower or eat disgusting things?