It’s week four of Jackie being in Diversion, and I don’t know about you, but I’m getting as bored as Jackie seems to be with her new job. I’m all for her having to pay the piper and suffer the consequences, but I’m ready for the old Jackie to come back. The super-nurse. The force of the ER. Thankfully, the new role she seems to have given herself in the nursing home appears to have lit a little of her old fire (and as a result, my interest) and despite how monumentally wrong and immoral it is, it’s what this show is all about—agree with it or not. But we’ll get to that in a bit, first let’s muddle through the rest of the messes that are happening at All Saints… the ones that Jackie is not cleaning up.
Although Barry Wolfe gets Jackie’s criminal case dismissed by convincing the judge that she was on her way to help hurricane victims (not to mention the sell job he did of her helping the accident victim on her way to the airport), he’s not as happy as Eddie and Jackie are. Why? Because Jackie still owes him big money, and unless she can come up with his payment he won’t help her with her upcoming nursing license hearing. After Eddie expresses concern (anyone else getting annoyed at how needy and infatuated Eddie has gotten toward Jackie?) and offers to help by basically giving her everything he has (but really), Jackie tells him about selling Vivian’s extra meds. Is he shocked? Disappointed? No way! He understands and wants to help! Oh, just wait. It gets worse.
Later, Vivian is brought into the ER after suffering a fall in her home and only wants Jackie to help her. Zoey, still Jackie’s unenthusiastic monitor yet still taking her job very, very seriously, discourages her from having anything to do with Vivian, even though she’s her patient outside of the hospital. Vivian’s daughter (Tonya Pinkins) insists that it’s time for her mother to be put in a home. Jackie disagrees until the daughter brings up the point of having someone else in charge of all her meds. Lightbulb moment!
Meanwhile, Zoey has come up with a way to try to make her new role more positive for both her and Jackie: star stickers.
Zoey: When Jackie does well, we’ll reward her.
Jackie: I’m not 7.
Zoey: Well, now you’re not gonna get any stickers.
With her plan a failure, Zoey once again complains to Gloria (“I tried positive reinforcement, but she beat me to it with negativity”), who once again tells her that it’s not her job to fix Jackie. In fact, it’s impossible. Could somebody please give that woman a cocktail, STAT? I like Gloria and I admire the tough attitude she’s taking, but man, she’s becoming a real buzzkill.
Later, after having to deny Jackie the freedom to have lunch with Grace, Zoey is finally done being the bad nurse and tells Gloria that she won’t supervise Jackie’s menial tasks anymore. “This is not how I treat people. I can’t do what I do without caring. I’m not a doctor.” Drop your mic and walk away, sister.
NEXT: Dumb and Dumber are done[pagebreak]
Proving he’s still the most clueless person in New York, Coop doesn’t pick up the negative vibes Carrie is giving him when he tries to propose. I mean, when a girl tells you that there’s basically nowhere that it’s acceptable for you to propose—not even the Olive Garden—you should probably take that as a bad sign. Proving that he’s the most idiotic person in New York, he turns down the sudden offer to be the Chief Internist at Mass General in Boston, a job that he discovers Carrie arranged to get him off her back. (The woman has some serious pull, or has given someone at Mass General some serious pull, if you know what I mean).
Later, after a heart-to-heart with Jackie (and another downed bicycle messenger, which reminded them of one of their first shared ER experiences), Coop gives Gloria his two-week notice. All Saints won’t be the same without Dr. Cooper.
But will All Saints even be All Saints in the future? Gloria doesn’t believe Jackie when she asks about the rumor that a Norwegian development company is set to buy the hospital, brushing it off as one of Jackie’s attempts at deception. When Gloria angrily tells Jackie that she’s a “non-factor” in the hospital, Jackie retaliates by posting a message on a public monitor about the possible sell. I have a feeling the games between these two are just beginning, and I like it.
Because she isn’t allowed to talk to Vivian at the hospital, Jackie calls her on her cell phone (from across the room) and convinces her to move into a home. She tells the worried woman that she’ll stay with her until she makes new friends (or until she herself makes a few thousand bucks). At the home, the patients quickly latch onto Nurse Jackie, asking her questions about their meds. Before long, Jackie is holding court with a room full of geriatrics and pocketing their expired bottles of pills. Immoral? Illegal? You betcha. And it’s what’s made this character—and this show—what it is for the past six seasons. This is the old Jackie we know and love… or loathe.
Returning home, Jackie meets up with Eddie, who has secured a new job as a rep for a pain management drug. (Face palm.) Excited to sell all their new drugs, the two meet up with Gabe (Jackie’s dealer) in a parking garage. Seriously, they’re both so happy with their new endeavor that if they’d have been skipping I wouldn’t have been surprised. Things take a turn, however, when Gabe tells Eddie that he and Jackie used to get it on. Eddie goes nuts and tries to pick a fight, which causes Gabe to go nuts and take off. Uh oh. Dealer out. Thanks a lot, Eddie.
Who else was glad to see Jackie back to her old, devious ways? And who else can’t wait for Tony Shalhoub to scrub in?