Well, if the world is going to end, at least with The CW’s new rom-com No Tomorrow, the remaining days will be pretty adorable.
When we first meet Evie Covington (Tori Anderson), the heroine of this the-world-is-ending-so-live-for-the-moment-themed show, she’s in a packaging warehouse spouting a bunch of clichés in the hope of inspiring better work ethic in her bored and unmotivated coworkers. “The clock is ticking,” she warns. “There’s no time to waste.” Evie is about to learn how to really put her motivational slogans to good use.
See, a few months ago, Evie bumped into “Xavier with an X” (Joshua Sasse of Galavant) at a farmers market. He looks exactly like someone you would expect to meet at a farmers market, complete with a beanie, beard and beads. Either bringing up bacteria is the ultimate pickup line or that twinkle in Xavier’s eyes was just too endearing for Evie because she was rendered speechless — and still thinks about him today.
Over lunch Evie is talking about “Xavier with an X” to her coworkers Kareema (Sarayu Blue) and Hank (Jonathan Langdon). Kareema (who is going to be my favorite character) delivers some blunt but sage advice that daydreaming Evie needs to get over him. “Don’t be one of those women defined by the quest to find the guy,” she says.
Heeding Kareem’s advice (and thankfully not Hank’s tip to pay a Korean hacker to track down Xavier’s address), Evie agrees that unless he happens to show up on her doorstep, she won’t pursue it further. Guess what happens as soon as Evie gets home? A box of beer named “Carpe Diem” has been accidentally delivered to her doorstep instead of Xavier with an X’s.
So Evie lugs the box over to his place. Tongue-tied as she might be, Xavier’s happy to see her and offers her a beer. Turns out it’s disgusting. Well it’s an acquired taste, anyway. Not unlike our leading man, Xavier. He’s wearing a beanie hat in the summer and multiple rings. He’s an impractical free spirit who is a little too idealistic for his own good and yet, he has just the right level of charisma to save him, mostly thanks to Sasse’s portrayal.
Based on all the SkyMall products in his home, Evie assumes he has a well-paying job, but Xavier doesn’t work at all. He throws around a few ambiguous comments like, “Gotta live life while I can,” leading Evie to deduce he’s suffering from a terminal illness. Which would be a logical assumption — but, no, that’s not it at all. The real reason Xavier is on a mission to live everyday like it’s his last? Because they are, for everyone. Yes, he informs Evie, while working at his science magazine job, he stumbled upon the fact that asteroid WX2000354 is heading straight for the Earth and will make impact, thus ending the world, in exactly eight months and 12 days. The apocalypse is nigh, as they say.
“So, we’re all doomed?” asks Evie in a very typically Evie outlook. “We’re all liberated,” responds Xavier in a very typically Xavier outlook. Having tried to warn the general public and sending many an unanswered email to NASA, Xavier has decided to just live it up while he can. He’s shirking all responsibilities, racking up parking tickets he’ll never have to pay, forgoing flossing, and checking items off his “Apoca-list” daily.
NEXT: Xavier is really Trouble with a T [pagebreak]
Evie tries to talk about the apocalypse with her parents and sister over a picnic the next day, to little avail. Also at this family get-together? Evie’s on/off again (but currently off), incredibly softly spoken boyfriend, Timothy (Jesse Rath), whom Hank calls Sweet Tea, and so he will be known (in my eyes) forever more. Evie’s parents adore Sweet Tea, and there’s a lot of non-subtle pressure that she should marry him and settle down. But when Sweet Tea gets down on one kneepad-covered knee and proposes, Evie asks if she can get back to him.
Evie’s mom and sis are worried she’s missing out on something great, which is the exact same thing Evie is worried about. But given the smile on her face when she gets home to find Xavier on her doorstep, she believes he’s the one to show her what she’s missing. After a quick romantic declaration from Xavier explaining why he has chosen Evie as his end-of-life companion (he likes her “bottom,” and she’s charming, awkward, and funny), he lets her pick an item from his list for them to do together. There’s an initial hiccup when Evie selects hanging out with his incarcerated cousin Jesse, but they ultimately decide to take a joy ride with Big Carl. Exhilarating dune buggy-ing culminates in kissing at sunset, which leads to more-than-kissing back at Xavier’s house.
The next morning he urges Evie to skip work and hang out with him instead. She declines, but the couple makes plans to do something from her list that night. Evie’s big idea is to put aluminum foil in the microwave, but with a little prodding she suggests pogo-sticking, then accidentally lets it slip that her biggest fear to overcome/life-long goal is to sing in public. They agree on happy hour.
At the bar a sly Xavier tricks Evie onto the stage to sing. What starts off as some shaky stringing together of notes, turns into a full-on belter of a performance complete with dance moves, fuelled by Xavier’s promise to strip until she gives it a real go. It’s all shots and celebrations until Hank shows up to ask Evie about an email sent to their evil boss Deirdre (Amy Pietz) from Evie’s account, in which she quits her job and insults their boss. She rightfully throws a drink in Xavier’s face when he admits he quit on her behalf.
It’s all too much for needs-to-be-in-control Evie, and she dissolves into a slight panic attack and calls safe Sweet Tea for help. He helps her convince Deirdre that some “wackadoo” using a different IP address sent the incriminating email. Demon Breath rehires her on the condition she’ll set her up with Hank for whom she harbors feelings.
NEXT: Evie starts her own Apoca-list[pagebreak]
Of course, Xavier isn’t going to leave things with Evie like that. He’s a go-getter, remember? So when Evie gets home, there’s a pogo stick awaiting her. She enjoys jumping around on it for approximately three minutes (while Xavier creepily watches from his telescope) before she takes a tumble and hits her head on the sidewalk.
Waking up in the hospital, Evie has a mild concussion but the doctors have discovered a far greater health issue: She has an extra electrical pathway in her heart that’s causing it to beat too fast, and she needs immediate surgery. In a fortuitous turn of events, falling off a pogo stick saved Evie’s life.
Fresh from her near-death experience (and moving far sprightlier than you’d expect from someone who has just undergone cardiovascular surgery), Evie is ready to set her life straight. She meets Sweet Tea at the bar and tells him she isn’t ready for marriage. He gets it. He know he isn’t the most exciting of guys, but he is reliable and calls her out for keeping him around as a backup plan. You, go, Sweet Tea! He tries to make a dramatic exit before remembering he ordered food, so he asks Evie to leave instead. As she gets up to go, Evie crosses the first item off her list: Tell Timothy the truth. The next item? Set Xavier straight.
And so we end up on Xavier’s doorstep once again, where Evie lets him know that she is the one who decides how she lives her life. She admits that maybe he helped her learn to seize the day, but she’ll be seizing it at her own pace, thank you very much. Oh, and she likes his bottom, too. And so they decide to spend the remaining eight months of life, alternating between their lists, checking off items daily.
They’re busy destroying Xavier’s microwave with foil and making out (sparks are flying in multiple ways) when cousin Jesse knocks on the door, fresh from breaking out of prison and ready to embrace his last few months. Sirens blare, and Evie panics. Guess we’ll find out next week how you remove handcuffs.
So does Evie really believe Xavier’s theory? Is he lying to her in an attempt to change her ways? Or is he just crazy? And, in the end, does it really matter if it means Evie starts living her life to the fullest? As Xavier says, “The point is we’ve got to stop doing all the things we feel obligated to do and start doing the things that we want to do.”