On the surface, the theme of tonight’s episode is repaying debts, but really we’re in for a lesson on the importance of open communication. Ready to talk through all the thoughts and feelings about the thoughts and feelings? Let’s dive right in.
As per Xavier’s live-life-to-the-fullest approach, he’s happily spending money on hideous vases and garden gnomes so he and Evie can check “lawn bowling” and “break stuff” off their apocalists. With that accomplished, Evie stops by her parents’ home and is surprised to find them packing up their belongings. They’ve decide to rent out their house for a few months until her dad’s acting career really takes off — you may remember a few episodes back, when Xavier inadvertently inspired Evie’s dad to quit his sales job.
Evie feels badly for her parents and decides the perfect solution is to let them stay with her — after all, “repay parents” is on her list. Xavier’s too busy burning unwanted letters from his father to pay much attention, despite the fact “talk to dad” is on his list. Evie reminds him of this and promptly snatches the letter away to stop him from setting it ablaze before hiding it from him. We’ll be seeing that letter later…
Down at the Cybermart, Evie shares with Kareema her excitement at having her parents move in with her, but Kareema points out how sad that is and asks Evie to come to dinner at her mom’s house (where she appears to live.) Kareema’s brother is bringing his new fiancée to meet the family and she needs Evie there as a buffer. Evie is delighted, believing the invitation means at a new rung of their friendship. Kareema has a less sentimental view, which is pretty much that Hank was busy and she needed a replacement.
Speaking of Hank, he and Xavier go on a cute coffee bro-date where Xavier’s credit card is declined and he spots a van with tinted windows apparently following him. Hank inaccurately lip-reads Xavier’s warning that’s “There’s a black van with tinted windows” following them as “There’s a black man with scented Mentos,” and runs off believing he’s in danger. He loves a conspiracy, that one.
But Hank’s in luck. We later discover the men in black are actually after Xavier, when they emerge from the van to chase him in the pouring rain — finally, a reason for Xavier to be wearing a beanie! Well, either these dudes aren’t FBI or they didn’t train at Quantico with Alex Parish, because Xavier loses them easily and heads home to cover his webcam with tape and his windows with newspapers. Then there’s a knock at the door and he whips it open to tell his pursuers he’s not going to hide anymore. Only, he really should have kept hiding.
Turns out the government isn’t after Xavier for spreading his apocalypse theory with the world, but debt collectors are: Xavier’s maxed out 15 credit cards and owes $93,000. The repo guys set about repossessing all of his belongings. There’s a lesson here, kids: Don’t answer the door when you’re trying to hide from people… Oh, and pay your bills on time.
It seems avoidance is a bit of a habit for Xavier, who hasn’t spoken to his dad in a decade and decides he doesn’t need to tell Evie about his financial situation because he wants to be “a force of light in her life.” Besides, he has a plan anyway — he’ll just liquidate his remaining assets. Only his remaining assets turn out to be the broken items from the earlier lawn-bowling fun. Key word: broken. No refunds for Xavier.
NEXT: Pirate ships and steam rooms