If you didn’t think it could get much more exciting for timid Evie than putting some aluminum foil in the microwave and watching it explode, episode 2 is about to blow your socks off. (Not literally, with this show we can see how that would be a concern.) Let’s get right into it and see what the “apoca-list” has in store for us this week. There’s no time to waste, we’re down to 8 months and 7 days, people! (I’m rooting for bungee jumping.)
When we left them last, Evie and Xavier’s post-microwave fun had been interrupted by cousin/ex-convict Jesse’s arrival on Xavier’s doorstep; he’s so fresh from prison, he was still wearing his handcuffs. This can only spell trouble.
But when we catch up with Evie, she’s having a relaxing breakfast with her sister and nephew and gossiping about Xavier’s adventurous nature and edginess and adding hot sauce to her eggs in a bid to live life more dangerously (naturally, she needs a glass of milk to chase them down). Meanwhile, Xavier saws the handcuffs off of Jesse’s wrists and gushes over how different Evie is than anyone he’s ever met. We’re nicely checking all the rom-com boxes so far.
Over at the Cybermart, operation “Hanky Panky” is officially underway. You’ll remember last week when Evie bartered her skills as a matchmaker to keep her job? Well now she’s tasked with making her boss, Demon Breath Dierdre, more appealing to her coworker, Hank, who seemingly has zero interest. With all the laws of rom-coms in play however, I imagine this will change eventually. Dierdre wants to know if it’s within HR guidelines to release some of Hank’s tension by rubbing his
naughty knotty shoulders. Evie suggests that she try being nice? Probably not the best idea to imply that your boss is mean right before you ask to be considered for a promotion.
However, there’s more to worry about than impressing Dierdre. Corporate has just hired an outside consulting firm to conduct employ interviews and layoffs are imminent unless each employee can prove his or her usefulness to the board. Evie goes into meltdown mode, panicking because she’s not good at stressful, high-intensity situations, including, but not limited to, games of “Heads Up.” You’d think someone who pogo-sticked her way out of a life-threatening situation mere days ago would have a little more perspective. Where’s Xavier with a X when a girl needs a pep talk? Busy harboring a fugitive in his basement, that’s where. Poor Evie’s far too stressed by the scenario to lean into his “the world’s ending, we should just let all worries go” philosophy for now. In true Xavier fashion, he reminds Evie that some risks are worth taking and that we all get to decide what’s important to us, end of the world or not. Jesse is important to him and he won’t give him up to the cops.
At work the next day, however, Evie is still deliberating over whether she should turn Jesse in, but is soon distracted by Dierdre’s attempt to flirt with Hank over lunch. Meanwhile Xavier and Jesse head to an old storage unit to pick up some hidden cash Jesse has stashed there to pay for his new fake driver’s license. Rummaging through their childhood trinkets, the guys come across some old golf clubs, baseball helmets, and their 1996 time capsule, which contains a cassette labeled “For Bugs, Love Mom.” One more small piece of Xavier’s past: His childhood nickname was “Bugs.” (I’m still confused over how these two cousins seemingly grew up together, but have very different accents, though.)
NEXT: Anyone for baseball?[pagebreak]
Still determined for Evie and Jesse to bond, Xavier offers his cousin’s help in preparing Evie for her interview. You see Jesse used to work for Goldman Sachs, so he knows a things or two about high-pressured moments. When Jesse (dressed in a suit, brandishing a briefcase, and firing random questions at Evie to test her ability to attack a question that has no immediate answer) isn’t quite the right approach for easily-overwhelmed Evie, the boys opt for baseball instead. While throwing balls at Evie she is tasked with hitting them back while answering questions about her job performance. It’s actually working until Evie fires a ball right at Jesse’s face, breaking his nose.
Not that he’s bothered, it will help with his police-evading disguise. Indeed, the next morning when Evie tries to apologize again, he tells her he would do anything to help a friend, so he’s not bothered about his nose at all. Evie realizes she’s misjudged him. But when she asks him if he believes Xavier’s world-is-ending-in-eight-months theory, he gives the less-than-reassuring answer, “If you’d been through what he’s been through, you’d be a little crazy, too.” Umm, what?
It’s time to cross another item off the “apoca-list.” After a trip to buy a new microwave from Evie’s dad — who’s striving to be “Sales Man of the Month” at the appliance store — the trio of newly branded besties pass by Dead Man’s Cliff. Guess what just happens to be No. 56 on Xavier’s list? Yup, you got it: Jump off Dead Man’s Cliff. “Holy smokes,” says Evie who had something similar on her own list: “Jump off a high dive.” Despite her pleas that a cliff and a high dive are really not the same thing, Xavier only has to deliver a few calming and endearing words to convince her to do it. He explains how his mom died while he was in college and he’s sad henever took the chance to jump off this very cliff with her during their summers in Seattle. Damn, that man is good at the inspirational speeches. He takes off his beanie, holds Evie’s hand, and together they take the plunge.
But then, just when they’re all feeling indestructible, Jesse accidentally tosses an empty can onto the windshield of a cop’s car. Though, Jesse’s fake ID and Evie’s library card (she hands over the wrong thing in her fit of nervousness) wards off the littering charge, Evie can’t take the tension. Xavier says he’ll take care of it and won’t put her at risk, even promising he’ll fly Jesse out of the country if he has to. But Evie tells him she’d still be involved because she cares about him. It’s all too much for her, and she walks away warning him that he’s letting his “apoca-list” dictate his life and that they’ll both end up in jail.
NEXT: Always listen to mom’s advice[pagebreak]
Unsurprisingly, when Evie sits down to her
grilling interview the next day, she’s all kinds of nervous and barely able to string a sentence together, but just in the nick of time she has a flashback to jumping off Dead Man’s Cliff and has a surge of confidence. She deftly explains to the panel why she is the best person for her job. Midway through explaining how the company could make more efficient use of their private jets, she has a stroke of genius.
Meanwhile Xavier, taking his own favorite piece of advice “carpe diem,” starts playing the old video his mom made him. Mother and son had a lot in common, it would seem. She tells him every day is a gift, so he should always try and follow his heart. And adds: “Try and keep your cousin out of jail.” Hey, two out of three ain’t bad, Xav.
Feeling compelled to see one another and share their recently attained enlightenment, both Xavier and Evie run to find one another passing all of Seattle landmark’s en route until they bump into each other in the street. Between breaths, Xavier tells Evie he should follow his heart like his mom told him, and let Jesse go on his own, but Evie’s got different ideas and tells him it’s okay to take certain risks, if you follow a plan. Then simply asks, “Is Jesse claustrophobic?”
It’s time to put Evie’s plan into action, and for that we’re treated to Xavier in a Cybermart uniform as the couple smuggles Jesse into a truck, packaged neatly in a cardboard box. Next stop: central Canada!
With Jesse taken care of, Evie and her sister gather at their dad’s store to give him a “Dad of the Year” mug to make up for him not winning “Salesman of the Year.” Only he did win! Take that, Barry and your hot tub sale! You see, dad was way behind in the race until a super nice, handsome, and cool Australian guy who “kind of looked like a professional saxophone player” came in and bought nine washing machines.
Evie runs off to thank Xavier, and he tells her they’ve both gone to great lengths to help people they love. And so there’s really nothing left to do than have a foam party with the newly-purchased washing machines and allow Xavier the opportunity to show off some sweet dance moves, shirtless in the suds.
In other news:
- Sweet Tea tries to impress Evie and win her back with the help of Hank, who misses when the three of them would hang out and have game night together. They used to be like Destiny’s Child he tells Evie, and now it’s like Destiny’s Child without Beyoncé. Make no mistake, Hank is the Beyoncé of this situation. In their bid to win over Evie, Hank dresses Sweat Tea like Xavier, complete with beads and even gives him a piercing. Sweet Tea then shows up at Evie’s door to retrieve some belongings he’s left there, including a toothbrush and the battery out of the smoke alarm. I’m assuming he doesn’t realize his ex-girlfriend has a penchant for blowing up microwaves or presumably he’d have left this safety measure in place?
- Part of operation “Hanky Panky” sees Dierdre buy Hank a special desk chair to help him release some of the stress in his back, to which he responds, “That’s really nice of you.” Nailed it, Dierdre. Progress. (I don’t know why I’m shipping this so much?)
Next week Xavier tries to share the truth with the world. Can’t see there being an issues with that, can you?