”Nip/Tuck”: The price of fame
It’s gotten us through this dark period called the strike, but sadly, we now have to say goodbye to Nip/Tuck for a bit. At least we can leave thankful that the great, great Jennifer Coolidge returned to reprise her role from the beginning of the season, Candy Richards. It seems that Candy had some nasty surgery while overseas and, as a result, had huge fish eyes and uneven breasts (”Gail” and ”Bozina,” as she called them). The exaggerated physical comedy of this entire scene just proved what a trooper Coolidge is. Can someone get this woman her own show? Like Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett, she’s unafraid of looking ugly or unglamorous for a laugh. Candy’s surgery did land her a guest shot on The Ghost Whisperer as a dead ballerina (ha!). There was a very telling moment toward the end when Candy left the office hoping the paparazzi would take her photo but they were more interested in Sean and Christian. It was a fitting end to a season in which the Miami doctors moved to Hollywood and became part of the celebrity system. And the capper was that the paparazzi were responsible for Christian and Annie getting into a car accident. It made Sean realize how far he had strayed and how trivial fame is. The lesson became even more severe at the end, but I’ll get back to that in a bit.
Less funny was the whole Julia situation. Eden naturally played the suicide card and tried to convince everyone that Julia had attempted to take her own life. Sean refused to believe it, but everyone else went right along. Hello! Does everyone forget what a lying schemer Eden is? Olivia (Portia de Rossi) is the most blind mother ever. When Julia finally woke up, it appeared that Eden might have come clean to her mother off-camera. Do we think she lied to Olivia or told her the truth? In the next scene, Olivia acted as ignorant as before. Hmmmm. I have the feeling she’s covering for her daughter. Sadly, Julia has amnesia and can’t remember anything before being shot. Come on! Is this Nip/Tuck or The Young and the Restless? I would have liked them to come up with something a tad more surprising. Still, it was quite moving when Sean was checking Julia’s stitches and she asked him questions as if he were a stranger. Then Sean told a little fib to her and said they had been married since college and were ”just as happy as we were then.” Um, right. Aside from their relationships with other people.
NEXT: Matt’s new low point
Meanwhile, Christian was paid a visit by Darlene, his college-spring-break fling and Emmy’s mother, who had recognized him from his Playgirl spread. Turns out Emmy cued her mother in on the whole I’m-in-love-with-my-brother situation, and Mama came calling. Christian and Darlene attempted an intervention, but Matt and Emmy didn’t seem too swayed by the fact that they shared DNA. My favorite line was Christian’s to his son: ”I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you can’t sleep with your sister again!” We appear to have reached a new low for Matt with this story line. He’s always been a bit bizarre, but this is definitely the worst. But it’s hard to blame the poor kid when Christian is his father. After the botched lecture, Christian and Darlene got drunk and got it on in a simultaneously alarming and amusing sequence. Finally, Matt and Emmy realized that being siblings was a little too creepy, and they apparently parted ways. At least until next season.
And Cuckoo Colleen (Sharon Gless) returned to prove that her own suicide attempt did nothing to render her lucid. The lady still is obsessed with Sean, paying visits to the office and even to the set of Hearts ‘n Scalpels. What the hell kind of security do they have on that lot? I mean Eden snuck on and now Colleen. These folks need to up the budget to pay for some bodyguards. Bob Levitts, the cute agent, finally turned back up, albeit in Sean’s closet. We even met his life partner, who showed up at McNamara/Troy inquiring as to where Bob could have disappeared. Speaking of security, Sean needs to turn on some lights and get himself an alarm system. Every time he walks in the house, it’s completely dark. If you had a crazy teddy-bear manufacturer after you, wouldn’t you at least install a Clapper? I certainly would. The loon resurfaced in the final moments of this episode. As Sean operated on Annie, Colleen sneaked into the operating room and stabbed Sean repeatedly, leaving him bleeding on the floor while Annie lay unconscious. I’m guessing that Liz was somehow injured as well, since she and Colleen must have crossed paths. What a capper!
All in all, a decent season finale. Not my favorite. That would still have to be season 2’s ending, with Famke Jannsen in all her gender-bending glory. But still I think creator Ryan Murphy and Co. left us with enough cliff-hangers to ponder for a few months.
What did you think of last night’s Nip/Tuck? Will Sean survive? What about Annie? Will Julia ever remember what happened to her? And are Matt and Emmy going to continue their relationship?