Schmidt and Cece’s renovation of their fixer upper, named Jaipur Aviv to celebrate their marital and cultural union, is in full swing, bringing about a major question: Who will take their spot when they move out? Nick proposes Reagan, many meetings to decide ensue, and Jess whips votes on his behalf as they all have to agree.
In other news, Schmidt and Cece struggle with the interior design of their new home. (Note: They’re not “decorating,” because as Schmidt says, “This is a home, not a Christmas cookie.”) Nick and Winston, meanwhile, look into whether or not Jaipur Aviv was the location of the 1971 adult film Daddy’s Long Leg *shudders* as there’s a striking resemblance.
Here are the top 5 “loft”-iest moments from “Jaipur Aviv.”
Design woes. Schmidt has a passion for interior design and really struggles to collaborate with Cece as they remodel their space. She comes to him with a paint suggestion for the bathroom, which he says he’s on board with, but then turns to Winston and says it’s a pretty color “for a Third World doctor’s office.” His problem is that he loves Cece, but HATES her suggestions — flashback to a “La Cucaracha” doorbell she had her eye on that sent Schmidt into a tailspin. He ultimately admits to Cece how he’s really feeling, so she suggests they compromise. In the end, Cece says that compromise doesn’t always have to be 50/50, so she tells Schmidt to take the lead on interior design. He does, but she gets her doorbell.
Conditions, pt. 1. In the first vote to determine whether it’s okay for Reagan to move in, everyone says yes except Schmidt and Winston. Jess approaches Schmidt — who voted no because it would be too long for six people to live together as there’d be some overlap — to try and get his vote. He ultimately agrees under the following conditions, told to Nick by Jess, “As a symbolic gesture, Reagan cannot list the loft as her official residence… When asked where you live, you and Reagan will say the following ‘Geez, beats us, we’re just dumb kids living paycheck to paycheck. Thank gosh for our upwardly mobile friends Schmidt and Cece and the three guest rooms in their loft. We’re crashing with them until we get our lives together and will remain there at their pleasure’… And finally, you will allow Schmidt to buy you one pair of jeans.”
Conditions, pt. 2. After Schmidt, Jess approaches Winston. She also explains his offer to Nick: “Winston would like you and Reagan to spend a mutually agreed upon amount of time as a couple with Ferguson [Winston’s cat]… The only couples that Ferguson knows are interracial and while Winston views this as progress, he knows that it’s not an accurate portrayal of the world… Next, Winston would like to be the first person to see you in your new jeans and he will see you under these circumstances and these circumstances only: Descending a grand, spiral staircase as Winston waits at the bottom, weeping with pride, holding your new belt.” Nick agrees to both to get the “yays,” but there’s still one “nay” from Cece to protect Jess from having to see Nick — her ex-boyfriend who she’s still in love with — living with his new girlfriend.
Too many secrets. Winston thinks Schmidt and Cece’s house is the location of his favorite porn and confides in Nick, who says Schmidt can never know. The problem is the pair are already keeping five secrets from Schmidt. “The secret vault is full,” Winston says, to which Nick responds that there are only four, and the vault allows for five. “You always forget, lost umbrella.” (But, of course!) They decide to put “Pornographic House” in the vault, but that means they’ll have to admit to another secret to make space. They ultimately decide to tell them about “Halloween 2004,” but just as Winston’s about to spill the beans, Nick realizes the video was shot in Seattle because you can see the Space Needle in the background, so he cuts Winston off.
The final decision. In the end Cece does vote “yay” provided that Nick and Reagan aren’t physical outside of their room because she has to protect Jess somehow, BUT THERE’S STILL ONE “NAY.” That’s from Nick, who is afraid that Reagan will say no to moving in or will say yes, but then regret it. Jess says she’ll support him whatever he decides, but he has to be the one to decide — and he does invite her to live in the loft.
- Winston stripping. Enough said.
- Jess whips votes for Nick because it’s tacky to whip your own votes (and because she loves him).
- “Before I enter any bathroom I say to myself ‘No matter what happens in there, don’t get scared.’ And it works! Except for that one time,” Winston says, explaining to Jess why she didn’t surprise him in the bathroom.
- The loftees crafting Nick’s text to Reagan, asking her to move in.