“Home of the Brave” may just be the funniest poignant episode of NCIS ever (or the most poignant funny one?), as the team deals with the deportation of a former Marine, Quinn’s racy dream about Gibbs, and the return of DiNozzo.
Okay, fine, not that DiNozzo. Senior shows up to announce Tony asked him to find a tenant for his apartment since he has no immediate plans to return. (You remember Tony’s apartment, right? Bachelor pad? Reasonable mortgage? Scene of a bloody murder?)
McGee, Abby, Bishop, and Torres are all extremely interested — no surprise, given the number of real-estate conversations this show has indulged in over the last two seasons. They immediately turn on each other over who’s the most deserving. The only thing they can agree on is they won’t be sharing it, and they won’t be voluntarily giving it up to someone else.
Before things get ugly, though, they’re called about a murder in which a Navy Yard security officer was killed during a convenience-store robbery. They’ve got bloody shoeprints and a missing night-shift employee who called 911 before bolting from the store with blood on his hands. In the locked owner’s office, they find a gun under a bloody towel.
Quinn spends all her time at the scene giving Gibbs strange looks, and back at HQ, she tells the team she had a dream about Gibbs the night before. Naturally, they’ve all had Gibbs dreams. (Bishop: no gear to grab. McGee: eating a raw steak because Gibbs served it to him.)
But no, this is different. Quinn had a sexy Gibbs dream. The team immediately demands details and Quinn obliges. It happened right there in the big orange room when dream Gibbs walked up, knocked on her desk, and asked what wood it’s made of.
…which picks back up again when Quinn visits the morgue, where Ducky quotes Shakespeare’s “to sleep, perchance to dream” to her and Quinn realizes he and Palmer know about her dream.
“Is it the one where he knocks on your desk and asks what kind of wood it is?” Palmer asks. Quinn is staggered, and Palmer continues, “Oh, come on. Look at the man! If you haven’t had the wood dream about Gibbs, you haven’t lived.” Confession: This is the hardest I have ever laughed at NCIS in my life.
NEXT: Never verbalize the ellipsis